DAY 44 RNW + Gratitude
So i've been stuck in a rut. To be honest i've been stuck in a rut most of my life so its nothing new. The only time I think I was out of it was when I was on anti depressants a few years back. In saying that I put all my energy towards women and socializing. I also made a fair few friends and met a few women during this time but my work suffered greatly.
I know it is fears that hold me back which I think the anti depressants hid last time but I have refused to hide them away again as its not the way forward. I like the idea of fear destruction in subs as I really do think that is a key concept along with always taking action.
I think RNW has given me a lot more clarity on life, where I am and where I want to be and whats holding me back. I am a lot more relaxed with life in general and apart from social anxiety don't get anxiety anything like I used to. I've begun to understand why people have been saying my whole life you have so much potential but you don't use it. I'm starting to see these qualities in me but still know the fear is holding me back. I think ASC is going to make a big difference here.
Work is going well though I get pissed off with people there but when it is appropriate. They are sending me on a training course in a few months to learn SCRUM based Project Management as well which is cool.
I've been tossing up what subs to use in the future. I definitely want to use WM 5G so at the moment my list is ASC -> AM5 -> WM although i'm wondering if I just do a refresher of AM11 then move onto WM to get over social issues.
Something else I've realized lately is women never really feature in my journal anymore as a topic its more about my life. This is a vast change from the last 3-4 years of my life. Also up until the last 2 weeks I hadn't really been watching TV or playing games or anything that distracted from life.
Well got 16 more days left with this combo then its onto ASC. It was different to what I expected but in general I don't put myself down as much (i'm objective without being to hard on myself) and i'm generally more relaxed with life not falling into the anxiety trap as much. So i've got a much more solid base to stand on.
EDIT: One last thing. I'm not sure why this has happened but i'm now able to give without expecting anything in return and god its a freeing feeling. The first time in my life I have ever had this. Just little things like today I asked my parents if they wanted me to get them a coffee when I went up the road to grab one and i've been cooking dinner etc lately. I just realized today I wasn't concerned what I got back and haven't been for a while. I like the feeling of just being able to give freely
So i've been stuck in a rut. To be honest i've been stuck in a rut most of my life so its nothing new. The only time I think I was out of it was when I was on anti depressants a few years back. In saying that I put all my energy towards women and socializing. I also made a fair few friends and met a few women during this time but my work suffered greatly.
I know it is fears that hold me back which I think the anti depressants hid last time but I have refused to hide them away again as its not the way forward. I like the idea of fear destruction in subs as I really do think that is a key concept along with always taking action.
I think RNW has given me a lot more clarity on life, where I am and where I want to be and whats holding me back. I am a lot more relaxed with life in general and apart from social anxiety don't get anxiety anything like I used to. I've begun to understand why people have been saying my whole life you have so much potential but you don't use it. I'm starting to see these qualities in me but still know the fear is holding me back. I think ASC is going to make a big difference here.
Work is going well though I get pissed off with people there but when it is appropriate. They are sending me on a training course in a few months to learn SCRUM based Project Management as well which is cool.
I've been tossing up what subs to use in the future. I definitely want to use WM 5G so at the moment my list is ASC -> AM5 -> WM although i'm wondering if I just do a refresher of AM11 then move onto WM to get over social issues.
Something else I've realized lately is women never really feature in my journal anymore as a topic its more about my life. This is a vast change from the last 3-4 years of my life. Also up until the last 2 weeks I hadn't really been watching TV or playing games or anything that distracted from life.
Well got 16 more days left with this combo then its onto ASC. It was different to what I expected but in general I don't put myself down as much (i'm objective without being to hard on myself) and i'm generally more relaxed with life not falling into the anxiety trap as much. So i've got a much more solid base to stand on.
EDIT: One last thing. I'm not sure why this has happened but i'm now able to give without expecting anything in return and god its a freeing feeling. The first time in my life I have ever had this. Just little things like today I asked my parents if they wanted me to get them a coffee when I went up the road to grab one and i've been cooking dinner etc lately. I just realized today I wasn't concerned what I got back and haven't been for a while. I like the feeling of just being able to give freely
The only person in life that can ever hold you back is yourself. So get out of your own way and start living the life you always dreamed of
