myth's DMSI 3.5 Journal

[myth]

More recently-observed changes that've occurred in parallel with the sub run:

• Dream recall returned. Any association with the sub appears to have been either coincidental or, at closest, temporary.
  
• Work performance is back on the rise. Often happens when I run DMSI, even though 99.9% of my work is autonomous/invisible, not social/noticeable.
  
• Still blurting things out before my mouth's private/public filter knows what I've just said. More of a continuation of a recent change than a new one.
  
• My ability to size up situations (or "mindful awareness" or any other preferred synonym) seems highly performant.
  
• Received praise specifically for my patience and helpfulness, behaviors that were simply byproducts of seeing no need to overreact.
  
• Online situations/relationships where sex is often discussed/reminisced have become unusually asexual. But there's still a pandemic in progress.
  
• My minimal interest in self-identification continues to wane. Less concerned about which qualities are/aren't "like me" and feeling less so every day.
  
• Still only around one woman in person, and, when compared with my time on AOL, she's gotten more irritable and less cuddly. More back rubs, though.
  

Yesterday included an exception to the last observation: A sudden/brief period where she'd wondered if she'd been affectionately remiss lately. While this certainly sounds related, there may have been confounding circumstances, so I'm reserving my opinion until after other influences become less likely.

Thoughts stirred up by one of Tuesday night's dreams, not that I'm entirely sure why they'd seemed to matter at the time:

• I sometimes rely on the kindness of others while suffering under the weight of their expectation.
  
• Anyone actively participating in a consumer society (services/products/trade) operates without complete independence.
  

... and Wednesday night's dream consisted of a street-sweeper that I'd somehow unwittingly let loose on the streets of every co-worker, followed by my co-workers asking for any future sweeping to be stopped. It was left vague as to how they'd uncovered that I'd been responsible, since I wasn't even aware that the sweeping request had been mine. It's possible that my dream self had simply been accepting responsibility for something that it hadn't actually done.

One or both dreams may have been unrelated to the sub, but their recollection had seemed worthy of a quick mention anyhow.