11-05-2021, 11:17 AM
Day 176
This will be the last post of my OFv3 run.
Summary
At the time of this post, I've run OFv3 for the prescribed 6 months minus five days (no loops tonight). As a precursor to OFv3, I ran OFv2 for 2 months. By comparison, OFv3 was vastly superior to OFv2 in terms of smoothness and results. OFv3's tech is the first generation of tech that led me to believe that resistance can truly be overcome with enough exposure.
I've been consistently anti-social and a bit moody while running OFv3. I'm the type of person that has never required much social interaction. Throughout my life, social interactions have been a result of a sense of obligation toward making those around me feel comfortable. The sense of obligation must've been tied to some fear, possibly that of how I'm perceived. Now, it's gone. I'm extremely comfortable with silence. I don't offer the obligatory smile when someone speaks. I just respond naturally. Interestingly, it seems to garner more respect. I suppose that's because it comes from a genuine place. I really don't care what most people think. I just am.
I've had to exercise a lot of discipline lately. Without fear having me walk a thin line, I have a strong tendency to speak my mind when I open my mouth. Fortunately, it hasn't gotten me in any trouble at work...yet.
OFv3 has managed to unwind and dissolve much of the fear I've built my life on. Fear has been so interwoven into the fabric of my life that without it, a significant portion of my identity is gone. It's an odd feeling. I don't feel any real restraint, but I also don't feel driven. Again, I just am. That's the best that I can explain it.
I've become more honest with what I don't want. I feel like I need to make some drastic changes although I'm not exactly sure what direction to take. I believe that some of the issues can at least partially be addressed through monetary success, so I'm happy that I'm about to start that adventure.
The UMS-series subs had never appealed to me prior to running OFv3. Looking back at my journal, I can see that I became interested as far back as Day 11. OFv3 has revealed to me just how stuck I've felt in my career and just how badly I despise it on multiple levels. It currently is (and has been for some time now) the biggest source of frustration for me in my life. Prior to OFv3, I felt like I was chained up in a dark room. Now I feel like the chains have been removed and I simply need to find to door. As I stated above, UMSv2 will be my next sub and I'm eager to see where it will lead me.
I'll journal my UMSv2 experience but it will be offline. As Shannon has stated, silence is golden. That has come very naturally to me lately. Even them journaling is important. It provides a snapshot of where we are at a particular point in time. I've read through some of the earlier posts in this journal and it amazes me how different I currently am than I was then. My words, my sentence structure, my tone, the mindset it all reflected...it's completely different now. I'm not scared. I'm not hopeful. I'm not pessimistic. I'm not optimistic. I just am.
Although I won't have an online journal, I'll be regularly checking in on the forum. I followed the forum long before I joined and I'm not going anywhere. I enjoy seeing each of you make progress. I don't always post, but I'm always pulling for you guys. Keep at it. I didn't always have my inbox set to receive private messages, but I changed that recently. If any of you need anything from me, give me a holler.
A big thank you goes to @Shannon for the blood, sweat, and tears that went into developing OFv3 (and @CatMan for lobbying for its release). The tech in OFv3 was a huge leap forward. Although I'm glad my run is coming to an end, OFv3 has done one hell of a job in preparing me for the next phase of my personal development journey. I look forward to the release of 6G titles. I fully intend to support you long into the future.
This will be the last post of my OFv3 run.
Summary
At the time of this post, I've run OFv3 for the prescribed 6 months minus five days (no loops tonight). As a precursor to OFv3, I ran OFv2 for 2 months. By comparison, OFv3 was vastly superior to OFv2 in terms of smoothness and results. OFv3's tech is the first generation of tech that led me to believe that resistance can truly be overcome with enough exposure.
I've been consistently anti-social and a bit moody while running OFv3. I'm the type of person that has never required much social interaction. Throughout my life, social interactions have been a result of a sense of obligation toward making those around me feel comfortable. The sense of obligation must've been tied to some fear, possibly that of how I'm perceived. Now, it's gone. I'm extremely comfortable with silence. I don't offer the obligatory smile when someone speaks. I just respond naturally. Interestingly, it seems to garner more respect. I suppose that's because it comes from a genuine place. I really don't care what most people think. I just am.
I've had to exercise a lot of discipline lately. Without fear having me walk a thin line, I have a strong tendency to speak my mind when I open my mouth. Fortunately, it hasn't gotten me in any trouble at work...yet.
OFv3 has managed to unwind and dissolve much of the fear I've built my life on. Fear has been so interwoven into the fabric of my life that without it, a significant portion of my identity is gone. It's an odd feeling. I don't feel any real restraint, but I also don't feel driven. Again, I just am. That's the best that I can explain it.
I've become more honest with what I don't want. I feel like I need to make some drastic changes although I'm not exactly sure what direction to take. I believe that some of the issues can at least partially be addressed through monetary success, so I'm happy that I'm about to start that adventure.
The UMS-series subs had never appealed to me prior to running OFv3. Looking back at my journal, I can see that I became interested as far back as Day 11. OFv3 has revealed to me just how stuck I've felt in my career and just how badly I despise it on multiple levels. It currently is (and has been for some time now) the biggest source of frustration for me in my life. Prior to OFv3, I felt like I was chained up in a dark room. Now I feel like the chains have been removed and I simply need to find to door. As I stated above, UMSv2 will be my next sub and I'm eager to see where it will lead me.
I'll journal my UMSv2 experience but it will be offline. As Shannon has stated, silence is golden. That has come very naturally to me lately. Even them journaling is important. It provides a snapshot of where we are at a particular point in time. I've read through some of the earlier posts in this journal and it amazes me how different I currently am than I was then. My words, my sentence structure, my tone, the mindset it all reflected...it's completely different now. I'm not scared. I'm not hopeful. I'm not pessimistic. I'm not optimistic. I just am.
Although I won't have an online journal, I'll be regularly checking in on the forum. I followed the forum long before I joined and I'm not going anywhere. I enjoy seeing each of you make progress. I don't always post, but I'm always pulling for you guys. Keep at it. I didn't always have my inbox set to receive private messages, but I changed that recently. If any of you need anything from me, give me a holler.
A big thank you goes to @Shannon for the blood, sweat, and tears that went into developing OFv3 (and @CatMan for lobbying for its release). The tech in OFv3 was a huge leap forward. Although I'm glad my run is coming to an end, OFv3 has done one hell of a job in preparing me for the next phase of my personal development journey. I look forward to the release of 6G titles. I fully intend to support you long into the future.
