10-01-2021, 10:01 AM
Day 139
As OFv3 whittles away at the fear, I find myself becoming more temperamental and more vocal about circumstances I don't like. I'm having to consciously manage the expression of my displeasure which is something I used to instinctively do out of fear. The chains are breaking. That's clear.
For the past week, I've upped my loops to 8/day, 2-4 on/1-2 off depending on mental fatigue. In my last entry, I noted that six months wouldn't be enough. While I still think that might be the case, I've gotten the sense that OFv3 has been able to make a significant leap forward and that I'm not as far away from the end goal as I'd previously thought. As I type this, it occurred to me that this might've been some form of subconscious resistance trying to get me to switch subs and that my internal directive to increase the loops might've been just what I needed to overcome it. I say that partially because the temptation to switch subs was really strong this week, especially since I've gotten pissed off multiple times this at work. There's a really interesting, multi-layer dynamic unfolding there and I don't like being caught up in the middle of it.
There are only a handful of fears left that I can consciously name. Although they exist, they don't trigger some uncontrollable emotional response in me. In a sense, it's almost like I'm straddling a blurred line between experiencing actual fears versus possessing a detached awareness of a circumstances/situations.
I'm experiencing increases in libido like many have noted here. I don't have any intention of running DMSI until I've done at least a year of UMSv2. So, I'm not sure what's going on there. But one thing I've noticed is that TID seems to carry over into other things. I've noticed that once I set the intent, I begin having an associated experience it at low levels. I experienced this just before I started working out again. I've experienced it when adjusting my routine. This week, I've been experiencing the feeling in my throat that e-none gives me. It actually occurred just before making a purchase. As far as I can recall, this had never happen before OFv3 (or maybe it was LTU6). I don't know if this is coincidence or if this is my imagination playing tricks on me, but maybe Shannon can use this info somehow in the event that it's sub-induced.
As OFv3 whittles away at the fear, I find myself becoming more temperamental and more vocal about circumstances I don't like. I'm having to consciously manage the expression of my displeasure which is something I used to instinctively do out of fear. The chains are breaking. That's clear.
For the past week, I've upped my loops to 8/day, 2-4 on/1-2 off depending on mental fatigue. In my last entry, I noted that six months wouldn't be enough. While I still think that might be the case, I've gotten the sense that OFv3 has been able to make a significant leap forward and that I'm not as far away from the end goal as I'd previously thought. As I type this, it occurred to me that this might've been some form of subconscious resistance trying to get me to switch subs and that my internal directive to increase the loops might've been just what I needed to overcome it. I say that partially because the temptation to switch subs was really strong this week, especially since I've gotten pissed off multiple times this at work. There's a really interesting, multi-layer dynamic unfolding there and I don't like being caught up in the middle of it.
There are only a handful of fears left that I can consciously name. Although they exist, they don't trigger some uncontrollable emotional response in me. In a sense, it's almost like I'm straddling a blurred line between experiencing actual fears versus possessing a detached awareness of a circumstances/situations.
I'm experiencing increases in libido like many have noted here. I don't have any intention of running DMSI until I've done at least a year of UMSv2. So, I'm not sure what's going on there. But one thing I've noticed is that TID seems to carry over into other things. I've noticed that once I set the intent, I begin having an associated experience it at low levels. I experienced this just before I started working out again. I've experienced it when adjusting my routine. This week, I've been experiencing the feeling in my throat that e-none gives me. It actually occurred just before making a purchase. As far as I can recall, this had never happen before OFv3 (or maybe it was LTU6). I don't know if this is coincidence or if this is my imagination playing tricks on me, but maybe Shannon can use this info somehow in the event that it's sub-induced.
