09-06-2021, 08:04 AM
Day 113
I should've taken a break Thursday night. I had already been feeling some mental fatigue but I decided to push the loops anyway. That was a mistake. I spent the next three days recovering from the mental exhaustion. It was obvious when the backlog of data went into processing then execution by the vivid dreams I suddenly had.
Dream 1 - I was in a pasture on the downhill side of a neighbor's property. Water runoff 4-5 feet deep came rushing down the hill at me in waves. I was able to get away from it the first few times. Later, i found myself on a horse. I was protected from the deepening water for a while until it finally washed the horse away. Then I found myself in a big white room with three walls. The water funneled into that room in waves until finally it overcame me. That's all I can remember other than it being terrifying. This is the 3rd water/wave dream I've had since running OFv3, only this time I wasn't able to escape the water.
Dream 2 - There were two warring factions in the company I work for. By warring, I do mean things got physical. In this dream, I was in a meeting hall with other employees. The other faction showed up looking for trouble. I stepped in as the diplomat. I ended up working with a representative from the other faction who was a cute blonde with short hair, professionally dressed, smart, sweet...Anyway, we worked together to find common ground between the two warring factions. At the end of the dream, I told her that we wouldn't see each other again.
I was pretty emotional throughout the day. I kept replaying the water dream over and over in my mind. I don't want to used the word unsettled because it has a certain connotation, but that's the only word that comes to mind. It's possible that I'm having to deal with repressed emotions right now. Maybe there was a fear wall that I erected to protect myself from those emotions. Now that this wall has been dismantled, I'm now face to face with what I've tried to avoid.
Day 114
Dream 3 - I don't remember the specific context, but I was out and about somewhere like an outdoor market. There were all sorts of characters there. One guy was pretty aggressive with his attitude toward everybody but in typical OFv3 mode I shut him up pretty easily just by my presence. WARNING: Kinda gross here...Later, I soiled myself because I took too much of a supplement. I removed my undies and put them in my pocket. Why I didn't throw them away is anybody's guess. My intent was to keep them for cleaning when I got home later, which I did. I remember being embarrassed about it and making sure nobody knew. One more thing,,,I can smell in my dreams...
Dream 4 - I was riding a motorcycle. It was a Harley...loud...rumbling...obnoxious...awesome. It was bright red and it might've even been a trike, but I don't remember for sure. I was riding along a seawall. I felt really free. I loved the wind blowing through my hair and I loved the sound and the feel when I hit the throttle. I dove through a few open-walled restaurants. As I type, that seems odd, but it felt perfectly normal in the dream.
Last night's dreams seem to indicate that I've removed something negative from my life and that it's freeing. But I don't feel that way in my waking life. I'm not sure what to make of it all right now. I'm feeling a level of uncertainty and the emotions that come along with it. Again, unsettled is the only word that comes to mind. It's possible that I've overcome my fear of not being in control and now I need to learn to live with a certain amount of uncertainty in my life.
I should've taken a break Thursday night. I had already been feeling some mental fatigue but I decided to push the loops anyway. That was a mistake. I spent the next three days recovering from the mental exhaustion. It was obvious when the backlog of data went into processing then execution by the vivid dreams I suddenly had.
Dream 1 - I was in a pasture on the downhill side of a neighbor's property. Water runoff 4-5 feet deep came rushing down the hill at me in waves. I was able to get away from it the first few times. Later, i found myself on a horse. I was protected from the deepening water for a while until it finally washed the horse away. Then I found myself in a big white room with three walls. The water funneled into that room in waves until finally it overcame me. That's all I can remember other than it being terrifying. This is the 3rd water/wave dream I've had since running OFv3, only this time I wasn't able to escape the water.
Dream 2 - There were two warring factions in the company I work for. By warring, I do mean things got physical. In this dream, I was in a meeting hall with other employees. The other faction showed up looking for trouble. I stepped in as the diplomat. I ended up working with a representative from the other faction who was a cute blonde with short hair, professionally dressed, smart, sweet...Anyway, we worked together to find common ground between the two warring factions. At the end of the dream, I told her that we wouldn't see each other again.
I was pretty emotional throughout the day. I kept replaying the water dream over and over in my mind. I don't want to used the word unsettled because it has a certain connotation, but that's the only word that comes to mind. It's possible that I'm having to deal with repressed emotions right now. Maybe there was a fear wall that I erected to protect myself from those emotions. Now that this wall has been dismantled, I'm now face to face with what I've tried to avoid.
Day 114
Dream 3 - I don't remember the specific context, but I was out and about somewhere like an outdoor market. There were all sorts of characters there. One guy was pretty aggressive with his attitude toward everybody but in typical OFv3 mode I shut him up pretty easily just by my presence. WARNING: Kinda gross here...Later, I soiled myself because I took too much of a supplement. I removed my undies and put them in my pocket. Why I didn't throw them away is anybody's guess. My intent was to keep them for cleaning when I got home later, which I did. I remember being embarrassed about it and making sure nobody knew. One more thing,,,I can smell in my dreams...
Dream 4 - I was riding a motorcycle. It was a Harley...loud...rumbling...obnoxious...awesome. It was bright red and it might've even been a trike, but I don't remember for sure. I was riding along a seawall. I felt really free. I loved the wind blowing through my hair and I loved the sound and the feel when I hit the throttle. I dove through a few open-walled restaurants. As I type, that seems odd, but it felt perfectly normal in the dream.
Last night's dreams seem to indicate that I've removed something negative from my life and that it's freeing. But I don't feel that way in my waking life. I'm not sure what to make of it all right now. I'm feeling a level of uncertainty and the emotions that come along with it. Again, unsettled is the only word that comes to mind. It's possible that I've overcome my fear of not being in control and now I need to learn to live with a certain amount of uncertainty in my life.
