**Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal**

[Jake2015]

Jake, because of Shannon's comment in his journal I decided to go back and look at your journal and it took me only 2 pages to be convinced that the sub IS working for you. However, I think you have a fear of self-delusion that causes you to be very staunch about what you define as progress or not. With the slight readthrough of your journal I saw at least 3 people saying your executing and I saw IN YOUR OWN WRITTEN WORDS that you were executing as well.  With that information, I have come to the conclusion that your fear of self-delusion has come upon you. You are already, in fact, self-deluded. Fear has so self-deluded you that it has thoroughly made it into your self-narrative, and even though people have said your executing and YOU YOURSELF HAVE WRITTEN IN A WAY THAT DESCRIBES EXECUTION AND CHANGE, you are defaulting back to the fearful self-narrative just in case that change wasn't "true change", whatever that is. It's so deep that it feels normal to do what you're doing. However, from an outside perspective, it's easy to see that you're deluding yourself. You are journaling change and then redact it saying that you aren't changed. Sometimes change is 2 steps forward and 1 step back and instead of neurotically focusing on that step back, which is generally a fear reaction, how about you celebrate the 2 steps forward you took. Fixate on those 2 steps forward. Honestly, the only way you can say change isn't happening is because of self-delusion. How about you get honest with yourself and admit to YOURSELF, not anyone else, that part of your default disposition is fearful self-delusion. It may not FEEL like fear, but that's because you've become so accustomed to it that it feels normal. Just take some time and read your journal from the beginning and try to see it from an outside perspective. It might just be the catalyst you need to observe your self-delusion from an external perspective.

Ah chris I wrote a long ass reply to you then had 2 phone calls came back hit the back button and lost it all.
Suffice to say thank you I hear what you are saying.

Can you show me where you saw that the sub is working for me?

I cant reply to it all now sadly cos the initial reply was perfect and to the point but its lost and im drained so ill say thank you.

I will however take your advice and read the journal and see where any changes have been made etc. From my lifestyle I cant see it, there may be good days and bad days but thats usual to me whether that is definitely the sub or it isnt I dont know as I simply try and share everything I can in the hope that its some relevant data.

The self delusion was made apparent to me recently by Shannon as he asked me to look into what resistances I am exhibiting. Im due to that aware that im exhibiting 4 or 5 types of resistances according to that discussion and thus im executing based on seeing resistance. That doesnt change how I share how I feel and am daily, whether good or bad, the data is shared in accordance and that will undoubtably show self delusion but in regards to my fears I havent been able to see anything tangible. For the past i dont know how many days 14 maybe, ive been struggling with this fear.

Anyway i wont go into my long reply as I need to get on with things but thank you mate!