07-20-2021, 03:25 AM
Day 63/180 OFF #2- Tues 20 July
1) Went to bed, couldnt sleep for hours, too hot and too restless so got up and ate cereal in cold milk then after 2 bowls of that and some chips/crips and youtube I then decided to play a pc game maybe for 30-60mins and ended up sleeping late.
2) Then got motivated to get back on track to timebox again for tomorrow and figure out what im going to do.
3) Woke later than I had planned to. Slept through and snoozed all alarms. - the time box has gone to waste pretty much.
4) Spent an hour in bed not in the mood to get out of it, instead watched youtube and fapped. Also saw some videos on tiktok and 1 was a scary one. As soon as I saw the caption i moved past it and got a rush of "fear" within me.
5) Decided best to get up and get moving so made a big breakfast thinking ok this will satiate me until I eat again as have to meal prep (supposed to be done on sunday) for the next few days.
6) During eating breakfast and watching an episode of my favourite show I had an ephiphany that its best I go back to the beginning again and refocus and restart on fixing my sleep cycle again. Clearly that when working good is the key to my motivation and energy perhaps.
7) Was on phone to someone lastnight and they're away of my procrastination this week and lack of drive and they said that on the phone I sound just as chirpy as usual so im not depressed or anything but im clearly in some MOFO BS flunk!!
Summary: Still full of fear, spent/emptied will power so now have had 7-10days flunk of no motivation, struggling to do the basics of life.
I need to fix up. I dont know if going to 5 loops will help with any of this so im sticking with 4 loops for now but inside I want to go to 5 incase that is my sweet spot.
1) Went to bed, couldnt sleep for hours, too hot and too restless so got up and ate cereal in cold milk then after 2 bowls of that and some chips/crips and youtube I then decided to play a pc game maybe for 30-60mins and ended up sleeping late.
2) Then got motivated to get back on track to timebox again for tomorrow and figure out what im going to do.
3) Woke later than I had planned to. Slept through and snoozed all alarms. - the time box has gone to waste pretty much.
4) Spent an hour in bed not in the mood to get out of it, instead watched youtube and fapped. Also saw some videos on tiktok and 1 was a scary one. As soon as I saw the caption i moved past it and got a rush of "fear" within me.
5) Decided best to get up and get moving so made a big breakfast thinking ok this will satiate me until I eat again as have to meal prep (supposed to be done on sunday) for the next few days.
6) During eating breakfast and watching an episode of my favourite show I had an ephiphany that its best I go back to the beginning again and refocus and restart on fixing my sleep cycle again. Clearly that when working good is the key to my motivation and energy perhaps.
7) Was on phone to someone lastnight and they're away of my procrastination this week and lack of drive and they said that on the phone I sound just as chirpy as usual so im not depressed or anything but im clearly in some MOFO BS flunk!!
Summary: Still full of fear, spent/emptied will power so now have had 7-10days flunk of no motivation, struggling to do the basics of life.
I need to fix up. I dont know if going to 5 loops will help with any of this so im sticking with 4 loops for now but inside I want to go to 5 incase that is my sweet spot.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
