07-12-2021, 04:38 AM
Day 56
I had my 2nd tidal wave dream last night. I was standing on a beach backed by a sea wall. The wave was approaching laterally along that sea wall. I decided that if I could get ahead of where the wave crested that I might avoid being pummeled to death by the tumbling force of the water. Somehow, I pulled it off and found myself standing safely on top of the sea wall. Several people didn't survive.
As I type this, I'm feeling a sense of renewal. It's the exact feeling I had in high school when I put rims on my car and thought I was hot shit. It was summer time. I can still smell the tire shop. I can still see those wheels gleaming in the sun. I can feel those hot ass cracked seats on my legs. I can feel the sun beating down on my arm as it hangs out the window. In my adult life, I've looked back on those years as being emotionally painful. That's still true to an extent. But it wasn't 100% painful 100% of the time. There were good times...really good times and good memories that follow. In my adult life, I've learned to apply a psychological filter to remove excitement, hope, dreams, etc. from my experience. Why?...to protect me from the disappointment that inevitably follows. It seems that OFv3 is beginning to dissolve the reason(s) for developing that filter to begin with. I feel like OFv3 is prying an old a door open that has been stuck for years. So far, the opening is only a crack but the light on the other side looks very promising.
I'm continuing with one hybrid loop 2on:2off.
I had my 2nd tidal wave dream last night. I was standing on a beach backed by a sea wall. The wave was approaching laterally along that sea wall. I decided that if I could get ahead of where the wave crested that I might avoid being pummeled to death by the tumbling force of the water. Somehow, I pulled it off and found myself standing safely on top of the sea wall. Several people didn't survive.
As I type this, I'm feeling a sense of renewal. It's the exact feeling I had in high school when I put rims on my car and thought I was hot shit. It was summer time. I can still smell the tire shop. I can still see those wheels gleaming in the sun. I can feel those hot ass cracked seats on my legs. I can feel the sun beating down on my arm as it hangs out the window. In my adult life, I've looked back on those years as being emotionally painful. That's still true to an extent. But it wasn't 100% painful 100% of the time. There were good times...really good times and good memories that follow. In my adult life, I've learned to apply a psychological filter to remove excitement, hope, dreams, etc. from my experience. Why?...to protect me from the disappointment that inevitably follows. It seems that OFv3 is beginning to dissolve the reason(s) for developing that filter to begin with. I feel like OFv3 is prying an old a door open that has been stuck for years. So far, the opening is only a crack but the light on the other side looks very promising.
I'm continuing with one hybrid loop 2on:2off.
