07-07-2021, 06:07 PM
Day 38, On
Had a dream that I was extremely malnourished, I can't remember anything else except seeing myself almost looking like a skeleton. Anyway, been trying to be consistent going to the gym but whenever I get there and it is packed I just use the treadmill and go home. I get really discouraged to do my beginner routine if there are a lot of people there.
I have been smoking way lot more than usual. I can feel and distinguish its effects right away lately, which is weird. Makes me feel groggy most of the time and yet I cannot stop. There are moments where I strongly do not care for it, I managed to stop it for two days straight but when a bout of depression or stress comes in, I cave in.
On the bright side, I don't flick door handles anymore to open or close them. I still hesitate when I become conscious about it, but I challenge myself to just grab it. I do this to check and discharge static, I've become fearful of getting shocked by static electricity working at the airport. Those elevator buttons are ridiculously notorious at shocking me every single time. Jackets, car door handle, door knobs etc.
Had a dream that I was extremely malnourished, I can't remember anything else except seeing myself almost looking like a skeleton. Anyway, been trying to be consistent going to the gym but whenever I get there and it is packed I just use the treadmill and go home. I get really discouraged to do my beginner routine if there are a lot of people there.
I have been smoking way lot more than usual. I can feel and distinguish its effects right away lately, which is weird. Makes me feel groggy most of the time and yet I cannot stop. There are moments where I strongly do not care for it, I managed to stop it for two days straight but when a bout of depression or stress comes in, I cave in.
On the bright side, I don't flick door handles anymore to open or close them. I still hesitate when I become conscious about it, but I challenge myself to just grab it. I do this to check and discharge static, I've become fearful of getting shocked by static electricity working at the airport. Those elevator buttons are ridiculously notorious at shocking me every single time. Jackets, car door handle, door knobs etc.
