Back From The Living - Restarting [AM] by LionMonkey

[Johannesbrst]

I actually think his carefreeness and sincerity got the girls to follow him around...

Very interesting.

Hi man, I think you are right on he money here. From my own experience girls are not "naturally" drawn to "masculinity" in the terms that we men sometimes define our masculinity by - i.e. what we think that girls perceive masculinity as. We sometimes tend to gravitate toward seeing our actions as masculine/not masculine and keep our behavior along those lines as much as possible. But that create a rigid type of interaction with others as we must keep ourselves "in check" to "keep being masculine".

From my own experience, the most success I have had with girls have rather been following the example of the guy you are describing. In other words, not being particularly focused if I'm perceived masculine or not. Rather just going with the flow and creating emotional connections with girls, getting to know them, being in the moment and thanks to this cracking them up with jokes, etc. 

My own interpretation of masculinity is that it's more about how you conduct your life and your connection to a purpose and your goals, as well as having an integrity and keeping true to yourself, rather than "being in a certain type of way". Sure, it can be perceived masculine to have a "strong frame" and to seem unfazed by others, but if you are met with a guy who can create an emotional connection with the girl you will, as you experienced, be outcompeted. Remember - just as the song goes - "Girls just wanna have fun". You need to be able to have flexibility and playfulness and not give a damn about "your frame" to create a real emotional connection and making people relax around you.

One book I enjoyed reading about masculinity is David Deidas "The superior man", maybe you would appreciate it.