06-11-2021, 06:15 AM
Day 25
I find that I'm pretty disinterested in most things other than what I perceive to be of benefit to me. I don't think this is anything new. I think I'm being more honest with myself as fear diminishes. I'm becoming less concerned about facades and more in tune with my inner self. The truth is that I'm pretty selfish. Throughout my DMSi run, I experienced an outward focus. I was more social and charismatic. With OFv3, I'm focused totally inward. I don't want to speak to anyone.
I've mentioned before that UMS has some level of appeal to me now. The same goes for DMSI, which I had pretty much given up on when I switched over to LTU5. There are two reasons for this: (1) the technology is either at or close the level it needs be to accomplish the goal(s) and (2) I'm selfish, as I stated above.
At this point, I'm less concerned about self improvement just for the sake of self improvement. Being honest, it's a means to an end for me. Bring on the $$$ and sex. But also, I realize that $$$ and sex are also a means to an end, which ultimately, is fulfilment.
I find that I'm pretty disinterested in most things other than what I perceive to be of benefit to me. I don't think this is anything new. I think I'm being more honest with myself as fear diminishes. I'm becoming less concerned about facades and more in tune with my inner self. The truth is that I'm pretty selfish. Throughout my DMSi run, I experienced an outward focus. I was more social and charismatic. With OFv3, I'm focused totally inward. I don't want to speak to anyone.
I've mentioned before that UMS has some level of appeal to me now. The same goes for DMSI, which I had pretty much given up on when I switched over to LTU5. There are two reasons for this: (1) the technology is either at or close the level it needs be to accomplish the goal(s) and (2) I'm selfish, as I stated above.
At this point, I'm less concerned about self improvement just for the sake of self improvement. Being honest, it's a means to an end for me. Bring on the $$$ and sex. But also, I realize that $$$ and sex are also a means to an end, which ultimately, is fulfilment.
