11/180
Day 11 ON - Sat 29 May - ON #1 - part 3
So this is the conclusion of my journal for today. As I type this I am NOT listening to the sub so tonight the sub will be placed when I sleep and thus will be the start of my next post with that.
Today had a little soreness in back again for a brief moment or so and again in my neck too.
I also felt very tired today but not when I woke nor until I ate dinner late which was at 9pm then i felt very tired. Im however now (3.26am) im wide awake thanks to my good friend coca the cola lol
I have had some arguments with my bro today but dont feel perhaps as anxious as usual yet then saying that I do feel still agitated inside too so its a 50/50 catch at the moment.
However my answers back to my sis regarding some issues such as "the neighbours are out in their garden and so lets watch what we say" have been more positive than my usual positive such as "fuck them lets play the music its our house were allowed to" for example. I am usually like this but not every single time so im more aware and conscious due to this sub and also trying to see am I changing etc.
Around 2am I was sat with mum who was awake (yes a night owl and the reason my sleep is bad as im awake until mum sleeps to keep her company thus then fight the urge to sleep as i feel this is due to being angry internally ive had to do this and its something ive mentioned for 5 or 6years of being here on this forum) when we heard and got startled by the sound of something falling to the floor. This time unlike the last time (from 1 of my previous posts) I did feel anxiety yes and went to check the noise out but noticed I was anxious when startled and thus a little fearful inside.
other than this nothing else. I havent felt the urge to listen more however. I feel for now atleast 1 listen a day is nice. I do wonder if I should reduce the number of days off but I want to give it longer than 14 days before I make that decision. I say this as I want to see when im on my days off how much I miss listening to the sub or have the desire to listen more.
I have no desire however to listen less. In all honesty I feel 1 loop is insignificant. I dont feel am I listening enough just whether more is better if that makes sense at all. Its hard to explain and im trying to be clear and accurate to not give the wrong data.
Day 11 ON - Sat 29 May - ON #1 - part 3
So this is the conclusion of my journal for today. As I type this I am NOT listening to the sub so tonight the sub will be placed when I sleep and thus will be the start of my next post with that.
Today had a little soreness in back again for a brief moment or so and again in my neck too.
I also felt very tired today but not when I woke nor until I ate dinner late which was at 9pm then i felt very tired. Im however now (3.26am) im wide awake thanks to my good friend coca the cola lol
I have had some arguments with my bro today but dont feel perhaps as anxious as usual yet then saying that I do feel still agitated inside too so its a 50/50 catch at the moment.
However my answers back to my sis regarding some issues such as "the neighbours are out in their garden and so lets watch what we say" have been more positive than my usual positive such as "fuck them lets play the music its our house were allowed to" for example. I am usually like this but not every single time so im more aware and conscious due to this sub and also trying to see am I changing etc.
Around 2am I was sat with mum who was awake (yes a night owl and the reason my sleep is bad as im awake until mum sleeps to keep her company thus then fight the urge to sleep as i feel this is due to being angry internally ive had to do this and its something ive mentioned for 5 or 6years of being here on this forum) when we heard and got startled by the sound of something falling to the floor. This time unlike the last time (from 1 of my previous posts) I did feel anxiety yes and went to check the noise out but noticed I was anxious when startled and thus a little fearful inside.
other than this nothing else. I havent felt the urge to listen more however. I feel for now atleast 1 listen a day is nice. I do wonder if I should reduce the number of days off but I want to give it longer than 14 days before I make that decision. I say this as I want to see when im on my days off how much I miss listening to the sub or have the desire to listen more.
I have no desire however to listen less. In all honesty I feel 1 loop is insignificant. I dont feel am I listening enough just whether more is better if that makes sense at all. Its hard to explain and im trying to be clear and accurate to not give the wrong data.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
