**Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal**

[Qiel]

5/180
Day 5 off - Sun 23 May - OFF #3

3rd day off.

Today no tiredness or grogginess. Woke up feeling fine.

Nothing to report all day that was of any significance.

Felt normal which is calm and relaxed for me.

I feel optimistic about listening to the sub because the tiredness wasnt there today so hopefully ill get to see if I wake refreshed or not. Only problem is that its now 5.43am and I havent slept on purpose as I may have a university webinar to attend at 6.30am

if I dont then ill finally get to sleep, will this result in me waking tired perhaps so can I attribute it to poor sleep cycle (which I always have) or to the sub - ive no idea.

For now all I can say is lets wait and see lol

Sounds like typical self-sabotage. You've definitely had fear around school, and fear about leaving school for "adulthood", and what that entails beyond that abyss. Trying to prolong that "student/mini-adult" stage of life in the end, obviously. Shannon has written about this before for you too, I remember his post.

Overall, it's clear the sub is working for you. Just relax, don't freak out over minutiae anymore. Don't ever let excuses or "reasons" get in the way of not listening, or changing ANY directions or volume anymore. Recognise that behaviour for what it is: resistance. Just let the sub work and give it time to do it's job at last.

We've said variations of that for a long time now. I really hope it sinks in. Think back to when you "had a flood in the basement, so I can't listen to the sub for several months". Or how you "am talking to a girl on the phone all the time now, so I can't listen to the sub". Or how whenever you traveled home from school, or at school I don't remember, how you could never listen or it was always super awkwardly complicated to listen so you tended to just not it seemed. The whole big controversy about the phones and the volume and which phone can work, if the phone worked with the sub, on and on and on, even though many of us, including Shannon, assured you it was fine to use and very capable. Shannon himself uses a phone to listen. I remember posting about apps to measure volume to try to have you relax and reassured. And then THAT opened up another massive rabbit hole of overanalyzing  minutiae and what not. What do you think those behaviours were a sign of from you?

You're getting good results from the sub, Jake. Let's keep the ball rolling, don't psych yourself out anymore, that's resistance doing that to you to keep you stuck where you've been. Don't let anything stop you getting your loops in and following the directions to the letter now.

We want what's best for you. You're on the right path now! Trust in the sub...and trust in yourself.

CatMan, what I like about you (no homo), is you have value/weight on your post. It's supportive and constructive. Please create OF v3 journal. Gonna looka forward on that. Thanks. 

Jake, from my perspective, OF v3 is progressing on you. Late bloomer is still better than doesn't bloom. Slowly but surely.