02-03-2021, 04:32 AM
Wednesday 3 Feb - Day 1 of cycle 5 - 11/15 volume
So my sleep has got better. As you know im at uni, a mature student and im back at home now cos of the pandemic. I have to attend morning online class at 8am. This has enabled me to fix my sleep cycle A LOT and this without the family getting in my way. I therefore havent thought this to be OF.
Lastnight however I wasnt tired and I was having a nice sexy chat with a girl im getting to know so ended up staying awake longer than necessary and slept late. 1.30am approx. I normally have been sleeping from 7pm-9pm and waking between 4am-6am.
This lack of sleep may have affected me today or it could be OF. Im stating the context above first so going forward can see if it was which if either.
I didnt have the motivation to wake early though I could have. I rushed my bathroom duties and then got onto the webinar. I didnt eat any breakfast. I have been sipping on a 1 litre flask of water from the 8am class start time to 11.30am. I am now on an on online lecture. During this whole period I havent eaten nor had the desire to eat.
This is strange since I have every morning for the past 2 weeks atleast, have been extremely hungry in the morning and at times over eaten yet today a complete 180 degree turn. I have no idea why and this is very confusing. I did eat late and I did eat even though I wasnt hungry simply to make sure i wasnt hungry at night but now im just not hungry.
Once the lecture ends i will go down and eat irrespective of how I feel.
So appetite is the first note to make.
The second is my motivation and fear.
Today was the first day where I literally had ZERO motivation in the class. I literally spent all of the time on my phone. I would bounce on (we dont need our cameras on so mics are enough to say or ask anything) to make my presence known but other than this at random times I did nothing.
In this class the teacher asked us to perform a task, something that we would do regularly when working and I just couldnt do it. The class couldnt do it either since the teaching is rather sub par but my fear arose that I myself didnt know it and its me that I can only care about.
The fear grew in me that I know nothing or not enough.
After the class I tried to get motivated and I just couldnt. I had both lack of focus and concentration which seems to have begun from the start of class but also fear of not knowing where to look for the information that I need.
Im trying to get on with small tasks such as emails or little google searches here and there but instead im just not motivated and im unable to be productive.
I will go eat soon and hopefully that will reset me probably
So my sleep has got better. As you know im at uni, a mature student and im back at home now cos of the pandemic. I have to attend morning online class at 8am. This has enabled me to fix my sleep cycle A LOT and this without the family getting in my way. I therefore havent thought this to be OF.
Lastnight however I wasnt tired and I was having a nice sexy chat with a girl im getting to know so ended up staying awake longer than necessary and slept late. 1.30am approx. I normally have been sleeping from 7pm-9pm and waking between 4am-6am.
This lack of sleep may have affected me today or it could be OF. Im stating the context above first so going forward can see if it was which if either.
I didnt have the motivation to wake early though I could have. I rushed my bathroom duties and then got onto the webinar. I didnt eat any breakfast. I have been sipping on a 1 litre flask of water from the 8am class start time to 11.30am. I am now on an on online lecture. During this whole period I havent eaten nor had the desire to eat.
This is strange since I have every morning for the past 2 weeks atleast, have been extremely hungry in the morning and at times over eaten yet today a complete 180 degree turn. I have no idea why and this is very confusing. I did eat late and I did eat even though I wasnt hungry simply to make sure i wasnt hungry at night but now im just not hungry.
Once the lecture ends i will go down and eat irrespective of how I feel.
So appetite is the first note to make.
The second is my motivation and fear.
Today was the first day where I literally had ZERO motivation in the class. I literally spent all of the time on my phone. I would bounce on (we dont need our cameras on so mics are enough to say or ask anything) to make my presence known but other than this at random times I did nothing.
In this class the teacher asked us to perform a task, something that we would do regularly when working and I just couldnt do it. The class couldnt do it either since the teaching is rather sub par but my fear arose that I myself didnt know it and its me that I can only care about.
The fear grew in me that I know nothing or not enough.
After the class I tried to get motivated and I just couldnt. I had both lack of focus and concentration which seems to have begun from the start of class but also fear of not knowing where to look for the information that I need.
Im trying to get on with small tasks such as emails or little google searches here and there but instead im just not motivated and im unable to be productive.
I will go eat soon and hopefully that will reset me probably
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
