08-04-2012, 06:00 PM
Well it's been about 3 months on this sub. I've changed, definitely for the better. Some things that were bothering me seemed to be let go and overall I feel better. Is it substantial? Well I feel like the sub did its job, but I've still got some growth to go through.
I don't want to have my experience reflect the effectiveness of this sub because everyone is different. But it's one of those things where you think you haven't changed much and you look back and realize how different things have been. I'm an individual that is on a slower path so to speak, I've got a lot more stuff I need to overcome to just get to a relatively normal level. That being said, I read over the script for this sub and I have to say that I've noticed a lot of the effects. Especially the positivity. It became natural for me to not dwell on the negative, and even if I did it wouldn't last long and I'd be able to detach and remove it.
A lot of the changes were very helpful in improving my overall quality of life. In fact I feel like I was caught in a quite depressive fog before I started this sub and now my days, although still caught up in negativity at times, are much better.
I find that most the negativity now is less internal and more external. By that I mean fear is still a very destructive force in my life and I have trouble pushing past it even when I know I have to. So if I do ever get down or depressed it's mostly due to circumstances in my life and not really the negativity inside of me. I think I'm just in a rough place right now and need a little push to get over that hump.
That's why I think I'm going to give my brain a rest for a week or two and then start absolute self confidence. I just need something to help me move past that fear of the unknown and uncertainty that seems to paralyze me. I think the worst part is I know that what I fear is overblown and it's not that bad, but I still feel like it's the most terrifying thing. That's the toughest part. I know what I have to do, I just hit this wall. And my parents are for the most part understanding, I just wish the fear I experience wasn't so paralyzing. It does make my life hard and I know there is a whole world of opportunities out there.
My dad's friend stayed over for a night because he was visiting. Anyway this guy is super confident. He said straight up he doesn't fear anything, he's not afraid. He didn't go to college, and I don't think he even finished high school. He's in real estate now and making the big bucks. When he told people he was going to try out real estate they all told him he's crazy and there is no way he would be able to do it and that he should be more realistic. Well he didn't listen and now he's doing pretty well for himself. And this guy's attitude about money is great, he lets it flow in and out of his life, he doesn't chase it. I just find it amazing how it really is fear that holds most people back, moving past that just gives you infinite potential to live life to the fullest.
I don't want to make excuses because I know damn well the victim mentality doesn't work out. But even when I was younger when the overwhelming advice was to just get out there and be confident seemed like the single most frustrating thing of my life. It's really really hard for me to push past that fear and I just don't get it. I guess it's similar to anyone else with a bad habit like overeating, biting nails, anger problems, etc. Everyone thinks it's so easy to get over it, but they aren't in your shoes. But I'm trying, I can't dive head first into the deep end just yet because I've done that and the recoil from it withdrew me more.
Honestly I think it might be time to bite the bullet and look for some therapy. I'd say at this point in my life my functioning in life is impaired. I don't know what's up and I'm no professional, despite hours and hours of deep introspection. But I feel this is one of those things you can't really think yourself out of and you need that outside help.
I don't want to have my experience reflect the effectiveness of this sub because everyone is different. But it's one of those things where you think you haven't changed much and you look back and realize how different things have been. I'm an individual that is on a slower path so to speak, I've got a lot more stuff I need to overcome to just get to a relatively normal level. That being said, I read over the script for this sub and I have to say that I've noticed a lot of the effects. Especially the positivity. It became natural for me to not dwell on the negative, and even if I did it wouldn't last long and I'd be able to detach and remove it.
A lot of the changes were very helpful in improving my overall quality of life. In fact I feel like I was caught in a quite depressive fog before I started this sub and now my days, although still caught up in negativity at times, are much better.
I find that most the negativity now is less internal and more external. By that I mean fear is still a very destructive force in my life and I have trouble pushing past it even when I know I have to. So if I do ever get down or depressed it's mostly due to circumstances in my life and not really the negativity inside of me. I think I'm just in a rough place right now and need a little push to get over that hump.
That's why I think I'm going to give my brain a rest for a week or two and then start absolute self confidence. I just need something to help me move past that fear of the unknown and uncertainty that seems to paralyze me. I think the worst part is I know that what I fear is overblown and it's not that bad, but I still feel like it's the most terrifying thing. That's the toughest part. I know what I have to do, I just hit this wall. And my parents are for the most part understanding, I just wish the fear I experience wasn't so paralyzing. It does make my life hard and I know there is a whole world of opportunities out there.
My dad's friend stayed over for a night because he was visiting. Anyway this guy is super confident. He said straight up he doesn't fear anything, he's not afraid. He didn't go to college, and I don't think he even finished high school. He's in real estate now and making the big bucks. When he told people he was going to try out real estate they all told him he's crazy and there is no way he would be able to do it and that he should be more realistic. Well he didn't listen and now he's doing pretty well for himself. And this guy's attitude about money is great, he lets it flow in and out of his life, he doesn't chase it. I just find it amazing how it really is fear that holds most people back, moving past that just gives you infinite potential to live life to the fullest.
I don't want to make excuses because I know damn well the victim mentality doesn't work out. But even when I was younger when the overwhelming advice was to just get out there and be confident seemed like the single most frustrating thing of my life. It's really really hard for me to push past that fear and I just don't get it. I guess it's similar to anyone else with a bad habit like overeating, biting nails, anger problems, etc. Everyone thinks it's so easy to get over it, but they aren't in your shoes. But I'm trying, I can't dive head first into the deep end just yet because I've done that and the recoil from it withdrew me more.
Honestly I think it might be time to bite the bullet and look for some therapy. I'd say at this point in my life my functioning in life is impaired. I don't know what's up and I'm no professional, despite hours and hours of deep introspection. But I feel this is one of those things you can't really think yourself out of and you need that outside help.
