09-18-2020, 09:57 AM
Second Cycle Day Five - Running the loops at the moment. I lost count yesterday and may have run seven or eight instead of the instructed six. I feel ok today and gradually less fearful or anxious. Obviously the deeply ingrained stuff will take time. That's why I have considered doing more than one eight month run before moving on to LTU. Determined to become a good person. I think of how I have been in the past and how I could have easily avoided drama and headaches and I want to get to that point where I am not just self aware but able to walk away from situations and people that are toxic, disrespectful, or insist on wasting my time. I would rather be able to handle things in a calm relaxed manner. I grew up watching grown adults throw tantrums and I see it now. I want to be as mentally and emotionally mature as possible as well as rational in how I handle things.
