OF - Fluffy Journal

[ncbeareatingman]

I am still in bed and still listening, I have pretty much 1 LOOP and a bit to go.

Ultrasonic, flac, mobile phone, 13/15 clicks, on pillow next to me. 


My first night was interesting, very different. The night felt long. At the start of playing it and turning over to sleep, I did have a moment of feeling a slight fear, like losing control, not crazy strong, but I noticed It and acknowledged it. 

Dream

I had a few dreams, but the one I just had was very related to the program. It was getting dark and I was driving in a car and my girlfriend was a passenger and we was on a desert kind of road, with lots of long roads. I took a turn at one road and followed it round, I was going a pretty swift speed and then my girlfriend said I missed the turn and that I am driving into a one way road, so I slammed on the brakes and started to reverse and turn. A car was speeding behind me and had to slam on their breaks but then I realised I reversed too far and my car was backing of a deep high canyon. My car started to fall and dread filled my being knowing that I have made a mistake and I/we are falling to my/our death. During the fall I was saying noooo, as I didn't want to die. I had nothing left to do but wait for inevitable impact. I kept waiting and waiting and at this point I felt I had my eyes closed and I started to feel burning sensations all over my body, I realised I didn't feel the impact, but assumed these burning sensations were from the explosion and this was it, my death. I was then pleading something like don't let this be true, I want to be alive etc.... Then after some time amongst feeling the burning sensations, I felt compelled to open my eyes and as I did I realised I was in my bed, in my bedroom and I felt a sudden relief that I was alive.

Man this is some purdy STRONG fear remover..dealing with that heavy shit,pretty much right off,a like a huge Boulder of Fear being dealt with...wow. reminds me of doing a physical  health detox of the body,purging old crap and stuff out. powerful & impressive. keep going,keep sharing. yawl are courage warriors!!