Kick Fear in the Junk! - Overcoming Fear 5.75G

[RTBoss]

@Shannon

Double-checked SHA-256 after downloading - matched.

Ran 6 ultrasonic FLAC loops last night, started just before sleep, on my Galaxy S9 stereo-speaker mobile phone.  I meant to set volume to 13/15 clicks, but it looks like I unintentionally set to it 14/15.  Phone on nightstand a few feet from where I sleep in bed.  

I was watched a show on Netflix, and suddenly found myself waking up an episode later - so this sub didn't keep me up.  I actually slept pretty good.  

Many dreams last night were pretty violent in nature.  The content is fading fast.  When I woke, I tried replaying them in my mind so I could remember enough to journal, but all I got now is being sent on missions to kill someone or something.  I also think I had a choice to view it as some sort of game, where the "killing" wasn't real or actually dangerous, for whatever reason.  

There was also a dream where I was walking hallways with stairs at either end, that led to different levels.  The bottom level was cavernous and an area where the people there represented the lower class.  There was some kind of manual labor going on down there, and the people were dirty and dressed in grimy old-English time period clothing.  Can't help but feel this was the most meaningful dream I had, but the details evade me.

Feeling well-rested and good this morning.

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to run this sub right away, but looking back, I've had TID for a week or two.  I played guitar for my kids outside this week, where all the neighbors could see and hear.  I'm sure they were surprised I play.  I've been too shy to do anything of the sort in the past.

I've also been researching careers in medicine - including the possibility of looking into going to Med School (always been interested in psychiatry).  But, I've always said there's no was in hell I'm going back to school, yet now it's something I'm casually looking into.  Before it was "I'm too old, it costs too much, takes too long, I don't want to miss time with my kids, I don't want the responsibility or commitment."  

Also had one night of some heinous nightmares last week.  Most negative dreams or nightmares don't affect me much - I always wake up thinking about how it's not real and try to determine the symbolism.  I woke up from these dreams drenched in sweat and genuinely terrified, thinking nothing of the content meant anything other than its purpose was to genuinely terrify me.  Not sure if it's connected, as this was before I consciously considered running OF.

Wow. Nice results. 

That’s cool you contemplated going to medical school considering it was a far off goal for you.

We'll see what transpires!