05-27-2020, 10:47 AM
I did not post for along time as I did not feel like posting anything. I always felt against posting. I did decide on the 2nd source of income and acted on it and earned $5 and then abandoned when my lifestyle changed due to covid-19 lockdown.
I ran UMS till last week and then stopped it to give a break for 2-3 weeks. I had run UMS for 8 loops for one whole week everyday and felt quite tired.
Now I am having these emotions, which used to come to me in my early childhood a lot.
Scenario 1: I read about a plane crash. I keep thinking about and get tears every now and then thinking and feeling sorry. I think how would it like to be that I would have been on that plane and come out as a survivor (later on I heard only 2 people survived). I developed scenarios in my mind, how I survived, how I came to hospital, how I am giving interviews to people and so on. All this time I am tear eyed.
Scenario 2: I was reading a story about a girl who was having an affair with a married man. Family of the married man (his wife, mother and total of 12 persons) broke into the girls home and beat her up. Now the girl is crying and complaining on social media. I am thinking how would it be to be in her place or if I would be present in her home, I might have taken a pistol and shot the people. Now this girl is poor and has no family (no justification for having an affair though) and the man's family is ultra rich and connected to the ruling and the elite class. I am having these thoughts on how would I feel to be in her in place.
I have not felt these thoughts for a long time and especially never once during UMS. Feeling sad and sorry is one thing but being in some else shoes the victim person and spinning these scenarios and being teary eyed is something troubling me.
I ran UMS till last week and then stopped it to give a break for 2-3 weeks. I had run UMS for 8 loops for one whole week everyday and felt quite tired.
Now I am having these emotions, which used to come to me in my early childhood a lot.
Scenario 1: I read about a plane crash. I keep thinking about and get tears every now and then thinking and feeling sorry. I think how would it like to be that I would have been on that plane and come out as a survivor (later on I heard only 2 people survived). I developed scenarios in my mind, how I survived, how I came to hospital, how I am giving interviews to people and so on. All this time I am tear eyed.
Scenario 2: I was reading a story about a girl who was having an affair with a married man. Family of the married man (his wife, mother and total of 12 persons) broke into the girls home and beat her up. Now the girl is crying and complaining on social media. I am thinking how would it be to be in her place or if I would be present in her home, I might have taken a pistol and shot the people. Now this girl is poor and has no family (no justification for having an affair though) and the man's family is ultra rich and connected to the ruling and the elite class. I am having these thoughts on how would I feel to be in her in place.
I have not felt these thoughts for a long time and especially never once during UMS. Feeling sad and sorry is one thing but being in some else shoes the victim person and spinning these scenarios and being teary eyed is something troubling me.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...
