04-01-2020, 07:18 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-07-2020, 02:18 AM by Javier Gerardo.)
I've got a go signal from Shannon that its ok to continue this program past 3 months. I need the power of MHS v2 5.75g to its fullest extent.
Last night I had pretty fucked up dream. In my dream I was one of the good guys, or so I think. We are fighting some demonic entity or antichrist of some sort. But in this case its kind of blurred because me and my friends who are also fighting these "demons" also have demonic power. In a nutshell my dream is religious in nature and me fighting against what I think was demonic in nature.
Moving on now to my illness, there's little improvement on my back. But good thing I have a spine and back support brace which I now wear when I seat and stand. Daily yoga is still being practiced and it just makes me realize more how inflexible and clumsy I am. I wish I have started this years ago instead of just weightlifting.
My stomach pain is same as before. Still minimal and only gets painful at certain times of the day. Good improvement but I still keep on my diet and researching on how to further improve it. The city lockdown sure makes it hard to get natural foods but I have to stay optimistic. I need to keep on stating that STRESS is a big part of my illness. I want to be a person who can manage my stress and anxiety levels not only in this time but to the rest of my life.
I can honestly say that throughout my sickness I have multiple suicidal thoughts because of regret, what ifs and pain. Instead of me looking optimistic and putting a smile on my face and seeing this as a challenge I need to overcome, I because fearful of my present and what will become of me in the future. I am into self improvement since 2009 and for a decade I wasn't able to fully utilize it due to my fears. I think now is the time for me to not only become fearful but also become fully accepting of myself and this life. Also to be grateful every single day. There's always something I will be grateful the moment I wake up.
Last night I had pretty fucked up dream. In my dream I was one of the good guys, or so I think. We are fighting some demonic entity or antichrist of some sort. But in this case its kind of blurred because me and my friends who are also fighting these "demons" also have demonic power. In a nutshell my dream is religious in nature and me fighting against what I think was demonic in nature.
Moving on now to my illness, there's little improvement on my back. But good thing I have a spine and back support brace which I now wear when I seat and stand. Daily yoga is still being practiced and it just makes me realize more how inflexible and clumsy I am. I wish I have started this years ago instead of just weightlifting.
My stomach pain is same as before. Still minimal and only gets painful at certain times of the day. Good improvement but I still keep on my diet and researching on how to further improve it. The city lockdown sure makes it hard to get natural foods but I have to stay optimistic. I need to keep on stating that STRESS is a big part of my illness. I want to be a person who can manage my stress and anxiety levels not only in this time but to the rest of my life.
I can honestly say that throughout my sickness I have multiple suicidal thoughts because of regret, what ifs and pain. Instead of me looking optimistic and putting a smile on my face and seeing this as a challenge I need to overcome, I because fearful of my present and what will become of me in the future. I am into self improvement since 2009 and for a decade I wasn't able to fully utilize it due to my fears. I think now is the time for me to not only become fearful but also become fully accepting of myself and this life. Also to be grateful every single day. There's always something I will be grateful the moment I wake up.
"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."