Went to get a haircut yesterday and as I was waiting, I was thinking "bless those 9-5 people" its true tho, they keep things running. Even if im not liking 9-5 to begin with, their service deliverance hit my appreciation like a ton of bricks. Something that came out of tge blue.
Now, went to get some food today also. As this young Asian girl came to my table after I confirmed her call for the food, she acted very, well, proper, I think? It was some sort of politeness. Submissive, feminine. I said thank you by smiling and handling it in a way that I would say was appreciative and chill. She bend over, with her nice round glasses, and gazed in my eyes, till the point I asked myself " what is going on?" The window gave that much oppurtunity and the reaction of her was out of place. Something I could see happen in a DMSI frame. Oh well.
Ive ran 7 loops last night. 8 loops the night before. So it might be that. I notice that im naturally social overt now, engage with ease and flowing with it, while having a strong charisma involved in it. I just roll.
Also, im getting better service, better engagement with people. Even if im spacy, it seems to be separate from what is happening, like "spacy within, great service externally"
There might be a lesson here. Insight
Alright, so a quick edit to all of this;
Im getting more money in. Money that was laying around yet I didnt know was. So, doing that gets me more money in.
What I do notice also, is an lingering fear. Like, loss of control thingy. My income of money is higher, yet im feeling more of an drive to spend it, to keep the position safe. Spending out of stimulance? Boredom? Getting food, and yet its like "I knew it" and I aint satisfied. The spending makes me even more depressed. Trauma.
I wonder what im seeking.
Now, went to get some food today also. As this young Asian girl came to my table after I confirmed her call for the food, she acted very, well, proper, I think? It was some sort of politeness. Submissive, feminine. I said thank you by smiling and handling it in a way that I would say was appreciative and chill. She bend over, with her nice round glasses, and gazed in my eyes, till the point I asked myself " what is going on?" The window gave that much oppurtunity and the reaction of her was out of place. Something I could see happen in a DMSI frame. Oh well.
Ive ran 7 loops last night. 8 loops the night before. So it might be that. I notice that im naturally social overt now, engage with ease and flowing with it, while having a strong charisma involved in it. I just roll.
Also, im getting better service, better engagement with people. Even if im spacy, it seems to be separate from what is happening, like "spacy within, great service externally"
There might be a lesson here. Insight
Alright, so a quick edit to all of this;
Im getting more money in. Money that was laying around yet I didnt know was. So, doing that gets me more money in.
What I do notice also, is an lingering fear. Like, loss of control thingy. My income of money is higher, yet im feeling more of an drive to spend it, to keep the position safe. Spending out of stimulance? Boredom? Getting food, and yet its like "I knew it" and I aint satisfied. The spending makes me even more depressed. Trauma.
I wonder what im seeking.
