UMS $$$

[Kol]

Im catching myself looping and catastrophing. This especially shows up when appointments are being agreed on, yet there is time delay going on. I get triggered yet am catching it more. Its discard stuff, affirmation, enormous blowin out ofproportion.

It has to to with discard, rejection, leaving me, all kind of trauma. This sheds tons of light. This also translates it in time management and disrespect, loss of control, certainty and security.

Now that im processing this, and amidst the looping, I got the glimpse of absolute effortlessness and sense that the whole universe works FOR me. This in turn catapults.

What a *****. Lol

I can see this also back in fronting, social masks, tribe behaviour, approval seeking in subtle ways, lets say interactions.not gonna blame myself nor attack myself ( which still takes place from time to time ) its oppurtunity to deal with, shed clarity on it.