Thanks man.
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Day 2 bloom.
Im feeling pretty overwhelmed. I would run 1 or 2 loops to ease it up, but now im wanting to bloom it for 5 days. There are glimmers of euphoria, so, ums/frm/e3 is working through things pretty obviously. Emotionally its a huge turmoil. Its also such a familiar phase of perceived procrastination, which, might aswell be e3/frm taking up all the energetic resources to work through and overcome whats needed internally. Also, pre-bloom phase, ive ran around 7 loops a night for, 6 days or so(?) With, when anything popped up anxiety wise/sadness wise or whatever, I ran a loop, sometimes 2. If I got it coined mud loop to run more, I would, like my subc craved the next hit of stimulance.
It does reminds me to the post @Shannon wrote, regarding terror response. Then again, there is also a re-occuring sporadic thought of "the last key". There are times that im havibg the sense of "well, this might actually be the final hump/key"
Lots of upsides are happening. Massively. This also in turn shows me the fruitlessness of in which im involved workwise. One company im semi-involved in and am about to leave, has become intolerable to me. The incongruency of me internally and the insanity taking place ( i see the oppurtunity to increase my online skills in there, yet the cost is simply to much, the time, freedom and creativity I feel is wasted there, as the time invested there could be invested in fruitfull endeavors. , its affecting me mentally in negative ways, not to say there is an celebration of comfort and mediocrity going on. The energy is akin to a fucking circus. Also, im not doing good with random restrictions out of impulse AT ALL, a red thread through my working life with workgivers and managers, with whom I butted heads before due that reason on muktiple different locations. How stupid is it to have multiple managers gatekeeping over trival shit, while this energy could be invested in said vision and productivity and actually level up, instead of "you need to be in map x, now you need *insert 3 people* to get the passwords" only to have one go all paranoid, the other gives green light for example.
So, I decided my mental capital, vision, myself, and all other capital is way more valuable. I have a wide skillset and love to thrive. Im learning each day and ideas pop up, such as forex, investing, crypto, rentals, real-estate, e-commerce, dropshipping, youtube alogrithms, passive income, index funds, investing in stocks, aswellas my current income and spending. Money/wealth has also turned in math aswell as a money game. Ive installed some apps aswell. My bankacount is that, one account. Just that. Im still somewhat 50/50 between saving and investing. I mean, its nice to have emergency funds ( 6 months minimum ) and yet, having that is money that could be invested and grown. Bankmoney in some way is dead money, and banks raise taxes, so yeah. While investing it would grow it. Like I said, im 50/50 in it.
Im starting to think, energy > structure. Like with this involvement of where I am currently in, there is a lack of energy management, energy culture and structure. Its tactical, not strategical. Its impulsive, no bigger picture, and its a sinking ship that is negatively affecting everyone there. Could be, because ums has enhanced me pretty strongly, that my mindset is miles ahead tho, including choice making and long term vision. I have no issue in having a process unfold flawless, like my mind flips through the whole thing and thus having a plan. The thing could run smoothly due to human capital involved, the skills people have, the ammunition thats there, yet the mismatch is crazy. Like pulling a dead horse.
Upcoming week im taking what they still owe me and ill be spending my time better. Im already cutting out all kind of distractions. Deepening myself into investing and envisioning and building the lifestyle. Im way more confident in it due to ums. Things have changed drastically.
Graham Stephan lays it out here what I mean:
Now that I vented, bring back the solution based focus.
--------
Day 2 bloom.
Im feeling pretty overwhelmed. I would run 1 or 2 loops to ease it up, but now im wanting to bloom it for 5 days. There are glimmers of euphoria, so, ums/frm/e3 is working through things pretty obviously. Emotionally its a huge turmoil. Its also such a familiar phase of perceived procrastination, which, might aswell be e3/frm taking up all the energetic resources to work through and overcome whats needed internally. Also, pre-bloom phase, ive ran around 7 loops a night for, 6 days or so(?) With, when anything popped up anxiety wise/sadness wise or whatever, I ran a loop, sometimes 2. If I got it coined mud loop to run more, I would, like my subc craved the next hit of stimulance.
It does reminds me to the post @Shannon wrote, regarding terror response. Then again, there is also a re-occuring sporadic thought of "the last key". There are times that im havibg the sense of "well, this might actually be the final hump/key"
Lots of upsides are happening. Massively. This also in turn shows me the fruitlessness of in which im involved workwise. One company im semi-involved in and am about to leave, has become intolerable to me. The incongruency of me internally and the insanity taking place ( i see the oppurtunity to increase my online skills in there, yet the cost is simply to much, the time, freedom and creativity I feel is wasted there, as the time invested there could be invested in fruitfull endeavors. , its affecting me mentally in negative ways, not to say there is an celebration of comfort and mediocrity going on. The energy is akin to a fucking circus. Also, im not doing good with random restrictions out of impulse AT ALL, a red thread through my working life with workgivers and managers, with whom I butted heads before due that reason on muktiple different locations. How stupid is it to have multiple managers gatekeeping over trival shit, while this energy could be invested in said vision and productivity and actually level up, instead of "you need to be in map x, now you need *insert 3 people* to get the passwords" only to have one go all paranoid, the other gives green light for example.
So, I decided my mental capital, vision, myself, and all other capital is way more valuable. I have a wide skillset and love to thrive. Im learning each day and ideas pop up, such as forex, investing, crypto, rentals, real-estate, e-commerce, dropshipping, youtube alogrithms, passive income, index funds, investing in stocks, aswellas my current income and spending. Money/wealth has also turned in math aswell as a money game. Ive installed some apps aswell. My bankacount is that, one account. Just that. Im still somewhat 50/50 between saving and investing. I mean, its nice to have emergency funds ( 6 months minimum ) and yet, having that is money that could be invested and grown. Bankmoney in some way is dead money, and banks raise taxes, so yeah. While investing it would grow it. Like I said, im 50/50 in it.
Im starting to think, energy > structure. Like with this involvement of where I am currently in, there is a lack of energy management, energy culture and structure. Its tactical, not strategical. Its impulsive, no bigger picture, and its a sinking ship that is negatively affecting everyone there. Could be, because ums has enhanced me pretty strongly, that my mindset is miles ahead tho, including choice making and long term vision. I have no issue in having a process unfold flawless, like my mind flips through the whole thing and thus having a plan. The thing could run smoothly due to human capital involved, the skills people have, the ammunition thats there, yet the mismatch is crazy. Like pulling a dead horse.
Upcoming week im taking what they still owe me and ill be spending my time better. Im already cutting out all kind of distractions. Deepening myself into investing and envisioning and building the lifestyle. Im way more confident in it due to ums. Things have changed drastically.
Graham Stephan lays it out here what I mean:
Now that I vented, bring back the solution based focus.
