Thank you @Shannon
Ran a total of 13 loops. Last night before bed 3. While I slept 8. Got the message in my second loop ( while I couldnt get sleep ) that I needed just 3 loops. Still proceeded to run 8 loops because I have it played like a tracklist and didnt want to interrupt that. Fear popped up. Woke up rough this morning. Ran 2 loops today after having a massive craving for more loops. In my second loop my head felt full. Emotions stirring and jarring.
I also wrote down last night another amount of money on a piece of paper so I encounter it in my field of vision and my subc is reminded. I felt I just had to.
Another amount is written down on another piece of paper. Felt also the need to do so.
I have another number hanging on my wall. So, one on my note. Another right on my computer screen, and another pinned to my calendar.
Interesting how this message of the amount of loops is decided from an 'bloomtime' point of view. Like a polar opposite from on days.
My last bloomphase was pretty interesting. Like on my 5th day of bloom it was subtle yet not subtle. Like UMS was there yet on the level I barely noticed and wouldnt be in my own way.
Now, I feel internally turmoil and upset. Like, tears beneath the surface. But this is fine. Healing. Progress.
Ran a total of 13 loops. Last night before bed 3. While I slept 8. Got the message in my second loop ( while I couldnt get sleep ) that I needed just 3 loops. Still proceeded to run 8 loops because I have it played like a tracklist and didnt want to interrupt that. Fear popped up. Woke up rough this morning. Ran 2 loops today after having a massive craving for more loops. In my second loop my head felt full. Emotions stirring and jarring.
I also wrote down last night another amount of money on a piece of paper so I encounter it in my field of vision and my subc is reminded. I felt I just had to.
Another amount is written down on another piece of paper. Felt also the need to do so.
I have another number hanging on my wall. So, one on my note. Another right on my computer screen, and another pinned to my calendar.
Interesting how this message of the amount of loops is decided from an 'bloomtime' point of view. Like a polar opposite from on days.
My last bloomphase was pretty interesting. Like on my 5th day of bloom it was subtle yet not subtle. Like UMS was there yet on the level I barely noticed and wouldnt be in my own way.
Now, I feel internally turmoil and upset. Like, tears beneath the surface. But this is fine. Healing. Progress.
