(11-08-2019, 03:13 PM)lano1106 Wrote: Stage 6, day 3:
I am just back from the gym. There is something happening. I ended up alone with 3 girls in the back the gym. I was with my lesbian friend and the 2 cute black girls that I keep mentioning in this journal.
It seems to me that for about a week, I very often end up in situation where I am with a lot of women surrounding me.
I did talk quite a bit with my favorite black girl. There is something going on between us... I feel something when we look at each other during the small silent moments... There is something very arousing in impossible situation... It is pretty much like Romeo and Juliette...
While I was paired with my lesbian friend for the workout... Then out of the blue... She said that she would like to go at a swinging club with a guy... I'm assuming that if she tells me that it is because she thinks it would be fun to go with me. Knowing that her orientation is very far from being ambiguous, as far as I can tell, that would pretty much be the perfect setup for FFM 3some potential.
When the workout was completed, I did say that there should be some party to celebrate the end of the 5 weeks long crossfit competition (the open). One of the girl did reply: Well you should organize it... I deflected this challenge... I'm not that good to setup parties beside, I would end up inviting the 3 girls and myself... and I basically change the topic...
It is the second time since the start of stage 6 that 2 girls are sending me possible low ball opportunities that I fail to recognize and seize. I should have said: Sure... Give me all your phone #s and I'll reach out to do something fun with you...
Not recognizing and seizing perch that interested women are sending on my way has always being a blind spot in my behavior... I see those things after the facts when the girls are gone... idk, if I did mention it before in this journal... but fixing that flaw in my behavior... such as reacting differently and automatically to create situation with women was an unsaid desire when I started SM3... idk if I'm unfair with my evaluation but it seems like this blind spot is still there...
One very noticeable change since I started Stage 6... I'm feeling a burst of energy to a point where I'm feeling like I have become 10 years younger overnight.... It seems that SM3 Stage 3,4,5 did induce an extreme fatigue in me... @Shannon : I'm very curious with your inside knowledge of what is in the program if you have any idea about what is in the stage 3,4,5 that could explain why I felt exhausted all the time during those 3 stages specifically...
Bottomline, the contrast is very striking...
Stage 6, day 31:
Shannon did explain in another journal what feeling tired means:
https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-whome...#pid230747
Without being able to know exactly what I was fighting with unless having some insights about the various themes inside stage 3-4-5.
What Shannon is describing is exactly what I have experienced...
Feeling tired and exhausted... might be a symptom of resistance... therefore... that explain why I only got partial results...
Yesterday at the gym, I met my favorite gym girl. We did exchange some delicious eye contact... I know she is into me and she knows I am into her... We just don't act on it because of her LTR... It stays in the fantasy realm but the teasing and tension is still fun to experience...
Something did happen today... I did receive another formal notice from the city because of the municipal zealous inspector and his BS claims...
I'm definitely at a crossroad...
Expensive judicial fight to get a moral victory and to boost my self-esteem...
Or cave-in and do what they ask me even if I know that this is abuse of power and that I'm complying to the law.
I'm very tempted to fight my point... and this is what I would choose if money wasn't an issue...
So, this unexpected event today... puts my initial decision to run DMSI for the next few weeks in jeopardy....
Maybe I should run BASE ASAP... to get my boat in order to be ready to fight...
priority... priority... If it was possible to run both at the same time.. this is what I would do....
