11-20-2019, 05:33 PM
ME: Good day. My mind has been clear and there have been no episodes of internal anger or anything else really. The really strange thing that I mentioned once before happened a couple more times. It’s about ex number three. The one I tortured myself about for many years but realized I was never in love with in the first place. I have a mental voice start yelling her name, and it comes with a strong, sharp stab of emotion. That lasts for a split second, not even all the way through the first syllable, then it just entirely vanished between one nanosecond and the next. I said it was like a bubble popping, but it’s really more sudden than that. I don’t even have time to identify the emotion. This is weird. I don’t feel anything for her anymore, especially after realizing that it was never about her in the first place, I was just using her (in my mind) to avoid the real source of the pain. Anybody have any thoughts on this? Could it be just kind of a residue or an echo of a pattern that is been running for so many years?
