11-05-2019, 08:56 AM
WIFE: She came home last night very late and told me that someone at work told her that she is too slow at doing certain tasks. She says that when doing it she felt “stuck in molasses, but I didn’t know it until I looked up at the time”. She described feeling like time had sped up but she hadn’t leading her to take a really long time doing a task that she feels that she should have done quickly. It really knocked her for a loop and has her questioning her competence, worried about wether she will be able to keep her job beyond her temp contract, and in a downward spiral. She is generally improving with her mental health and outlook, but that improvement is still delicate. One thing can knock her into a pit of negativity. I don’t think that the pits are lasting near as long as they used to, but we’ll see with this one. They also aren’t likely to improve anything about her performance, which worries me.
ME: I felt awesome for a few hours after my interview yesterday until I called my wife an hour after she should have gotten off work. She sounded worried and dejected so I was concerned that she might lose her job. That Apparently hasn’t happened.
I noticed that while I waited several hours to hear from her again, I was not nearly as anxious as I would have been this time last year.
When she got home, just as she was pulling in the driveway, We got notice that we are being sued by our HOA. They’ve been at us for years charging a huge amount of money for violations that were trying to fix but either can’t or can’t afford to. (IE bare spots in the front lawn caused by rabbits, dead trees that will cost thousands to replace, weeds that will not die and grow back even if pulled up by the roots). It’s a considerable amount of money.
At first I was stressed and upset, and I continued to be so when I woke up this morning, but then I started thinking about it. What I am doing here is getting my crap together to build a foundation to go further. Well, to do that, I need to get all the problems that I have been putting off because they seemed like an insurmountable knot solved and cleared. I can’t do that unless they all come to light and come out into the forefront. That’s what’s been happening with my mental blocks, and now it’s happening in the physical world. This may not be a pleasant process, but it is necessary. The problem being as big as it is is my responsibility because I ignored it, and now I have to deal with it. Once again, I am a hell of a lot less stressed than I would have been last year.
ME: I felt awesome for a few hours after my interview yesterday until I called my wife an hour after she should have gotten off work. She sounded worried and dejected so I was concerned that she might lose her job. That Apparently hasn’t happened.
I noticed that while I waited several hours to hear from her again, I was not nearly as anxious as I would have been this time last year.
When she got home, just as she was pulling in the driveway, We got notice that we are being sued by our HOA. They’ve been at us for years charging a huge amount of money for violations that were trying to fix but either can’t or can’t afford to. (IE bare spots in the front lawn caused by rabbits, dead trees that will cost thousands to replace, weeds that will not die and grow back even if pulled up by the roots). It’s a considerable amount of money.
At first I was stressed and upset, and I continued to be so when I woke up this morning, but then I started thinking about it. What I am doing here is getting my crap together to build a foundation to go further. Well, to do that, I need to get all the problems that I have been putting off because they seemed like an insurmountable knot solved and cleared. I can’t do that unless they all come to light and come out into the forefront. That’s what’s been happening with my mental blocks, and now it’s happening in the physical world. This may not be a pleasant process, but it is necessary. The problem being as big as it is is my responsibility because I ignored it, and now I have to deal with it. Once again, I am a hell of a lot less stressed than I would have been last year.
