10-25-2019, 06:23 PM
ME: I did the full eight loops last night on the bone conduction earphones. They worked great, and I’m pretty sure that the ultrasonic portion does come through them.. I say that because I woke up with a pretty massive “sub hangover” this afternoon. I felt a nonphisical pressure in my head and was very conscious of my energy field vibrating around me. That’s an odd feeling, it’s kind of like my arm hairs are standing on end from a static charge, and they extend about a foot from my body. My thinking felt slow, and while I didn’t feel physically tired, I felt very slow to get going.
This thing really has me in my head, but not in a bad way. Right now, everything is focused on FRM getting its thing done because as I mentioned, it’s penetrated to a different level where things work a bit differently and it’s taking up more of my available processing power to get it done. These data dumps from my subconscious are an interesting experience. I get a flash of epiphany, but I spend the next while unpacking it to fully understand it.
I got into this on my last post, it should be easy to get rid of all of the fears that are getting in the way of me having any life I want. The fears that are causing me to resist are literally nothing in the present time. The things that caused them have passed, and I have grown to the point that most of them aren’t anything that I would perceive as a threat if it happened to me today. Or at least I’d have a more functional reaction.
The thing I said yesterday is that some part of me doesn’t want to because of a bizarre kind of self aggrandizement, well, there’s more to it than that. It’s an excuse. That part doesn’t want to admit that my mental blocks are ephemeral and easily dissolved because if it were that easy then I am fully responsible for not having done that before. If I keep thinking of fears and inhibitions as being very tough things to get through, and things that circumstances put there, then it’s not my fault that I’m not where I want to be in life. So this part of me would rather see myself as a victim of circumstance who has struggled mightily just to get where I am, than admit that I’ve spent the last twenty some odd years afraid of phantoms and pretty much letting life happen to me. The truth I’m facing tonight is that I have always been the captain of my own ship, but have been belowdecks obsessing on imaginary sea monsters when I could have been on the bridge setting whatever course I wanted.
On a more metaphysical note. I believe that FRM is knocking on the door of one of those levels of the subconscious that doesn’t recognize time. The, whatever is communicating with me says that’s a conundrum. Before that level, it’s possible to tell yourself that whatever you’re afraid of isn’t happening and or isn’t a threat anymore. Once you get there, it IS still happening. This could be interesting. I’ve got that trying to move a boulder feeling in my head again.
This thing really has me in my head, but not in a bad way. Right now, everything is focused on FRM getting its thing done because as I mentioned, it’s penetrated to a different level where things work a bit differently and it’s taking up more of my available processing power to get it done. These data dumps from my subconscious are an interesting experience. I get a flash of epiphany, but I spend the next while unpacking it to fully understand it.
I got into this on my last post, it should be easy to get rid of all of the fears that are getting in the way of me having any life I want. The fears that are causing me to resist are literally nothing in the present time. The things that caused them have passed, and I have grown to the point that most of them aren’t anything that I would perceive as a threat if it happened to me today. Or at least I’d have a more functional reaction.
The thing I said yesterday is that some part of me doesn’t want to because of a bizarre kind of self aggrandizement, well, there’s more to it than that. It’s an excuse. That part doesn’t want to admit that my mental blocks are ephemeral and easily dissolved because if it were that easy then I am fully responsible for not having done that before. If I keep thinking of fears and inhibitions as being very tough things to get through, and things that circumstances put there, then it’s not my fault that I’m not where I want to be in life. So this part of me would rather see myself as a victim of circumstance who has struggled mightily just to get where I am, than admit that I’ve spent the last twenty some odd years afraid of phantoms and pretty much letting life happen to me. The truth I’m facing tonight is that I have always been the captain of my own ship, but have been belowdecks obsessing on imaginary sea monsters when I could have been on the bridge setting whatever course I wanted.
On a more metaphysical note. I believe that FRM is knocking on the door of one of those levels of the subconscious that doesn’t recognize time. The, whatever is communicating with me says that’s a conundrum. Before that level, it’s possible to tell yourself that whatever you’re afraid of isn’t happening and or isn’t a threat anymore. Once you get there, it IS still happening. This could be interesting. I’ve got that trying to move a boulder feeling in my head again.
