ME: I think that I am making this fear removal process harder than it needs to be. Perhaps we all are. I think Shannon said that fear is smoke. It is. The fears I’m dealing with come from circumstances that no longer exist, things that are no longer true. I’m fighting ghosts, and I have been for years. Hell, most of them come from years before I was an adult, and decades before I became the man I am now. Why am I doing that? Because I (some piece of me) wants it to be hard. When I’ve finally defeated my fears and started to shape my life into what I want it to be, I want to feel like I’ve won some epic battle. Or maybe some part doesn’t want to win. Maybe it wants to remain in this isometric arm wrestling match with myself for the rest of my life so that when it’s over I can have a story of incredible strife and strength to tell. Where is the victory in fighting smoke and ghosts? If some part of me would get on board, it would all be easy.
There’s something there. I don’t know how to describe it other than the need for a perceived challenge coupled with an aversion to taking up the real challenge that comes after getting my mental ducks in a row.
There isn’t a fear behind this one, not in the classic sense of an aversion to something. It’s more like a need, like I crave something that constantly struggling with my own head gives me. Think of it like a video game. If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t keep playing, and it wouldn’t feel good when you won.
This was another data dump from my subconscious. I got it while listening to my loops and it was accompanied by this bizarre feeling in my head like something was stretching a membrane and about to break through it. This bloom period is going to be all kinds of fun.
There’s something there. I don’t know how to describe it other than the need for a perceived challenge coupled with an aversion to taking up the real challenge that comes after getting my mental ducks in a row.
There isn’t a fear behind this one, not in the classic sense of an aversion to something. It’s more like a need, like I crave something that constantly struggling with my own head gives me. Think of it like a video game. If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t keep playing, and it wouldn’t feel good when you won.
This was another data dump from my subconscious. I got it while listening to my loops and it was accompanied by this bizarre feeling in my head like something was stretching a membrane and about to break through it. This bloom period is going to be all kinds of fun.
