10-20-2019, 10:04 AM
WIFE + Me: We had a long conversation when I woke up yesterday. She said that she was very happy with life right now. I actually felt comfortable voicing a few things that would make me happier about life. She was actually accommodating. She said that she was ok with me not being around a few evenings that I’d be taking a jui Jitsu class. That fulfills a need I have, I’ve always loved rough contact sports, and that’s something that I think will help me get back to feeling like “me”.
The big thing, I’m hesitant to talk about, but it’s huge so here goes.
I am not monogamous by nature. I made that very clear going in, and at first she said she was ok with that even though she is monogamous by nature. Once we got more committed, she reversed that on me. She didn’t outright order me, but she made it clear that she would be very hurt if I did it. I didn’t want to hurt her, so I just sucked it up and dealt with it. While resenting it. It wasn’t healthy.
Since we were talking, I brought that up as a thing I was dissatisfied with. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to go well. To my surprise, she actually said she was ok with it now, and said she would accommodate me in doing that. Her only fear was that I’d leave her for someone “younger and hotter”. I said that I wouldn’t, and that that never turns out well. Throughout the whole thing, I didn’t feel she was grudgingly conceding. She seemed to actually realize that that was part of who I am, I’d been nothing but honest about it from the start, and that I’d been repressing it for her.
I asked about it and she said with an actual smile “I’m in a better emotional place now.”.
These results with her are amazing.
The big thing, I’m hesitant to talk about, but it’s huge so here goes.
I am not monogamous by nature. I made that very clear going in, and at first she said she was ok with that even though she is monogamous by nature. Once we got more committed, she reversed that on me. She didn’t outright order me, but she made it clear that she would be very hurt if I did it. I didn’t want to hurt her, so I just sucked it up and dealt with it. While resenting it. It wasn’t healthy.
Since we were talking, I brought that up as a thing I was dissatisfied with. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to go well. To my surprise, she actually said she was ok with it now, and said she would accommodate me in doing that. Her only fear was that I’d leave her for someone “younger and hotter”. I said that I wouldn’t, and that that never turns out well. Throughout the whole thing, I didn’t feel she was grudgingly conceding. She seemed to actually realize that that was part of who I am, I’d been nothing but honest about it from the start, and that I’d been repressing it for her.
I asked about it and she said with an actual smile “I’m in a better emotional place now.”.
These results with her are amazing.
