06-30-2012, 02:29 PM
Thanks for the love K-train--I keep it local though
SM is a fun set but best be in a really solid place in your life while using it...as in all the basics or settled. I see now I was really fulling the flames of that part of me that wanted to abandon everything for the sake of adventure, personal power, and sexual experiences. It was all well and good but has left me looking at quite a few holes and neglected areas in my life. I'm on Alpha stage 3 refresher and winners mindset now.
And alpha is for the most part devastatingly depressing haha. I don't mind at all though..I feel I'm icy as a mother fxxxker, but so disconnected. It has amped the effects of sex magnet though but in a way where I'm so emotionally removed from the experience its pretty much not worth anything. Although talking to '10's' and moving things foward feels like doing the dishes-I still feel compelled to take care of it lol (I'm trying to relax out of that) and its only those times one/I am really present that one/I can enjoy the soap and water lol. After another 2 rounds of 10 minute meet and greet to sex I'me done with that in my life. From now on I leave room only for woman who will challenge and/or inspire me at core and become part of my ongoing life..or they at least have to be really sexy, nurturing, and cool...woman who will bring out the part of me that loves life for its own sake since. That is what matters to me these days
1. Loving life for its own sake
2. Pure efficiency
Winners mindset is simply incredibly-doing it 4-5 hours a day and half hour of that and I get the best of Alpha with more of a related and motivated swag.
I've been heavily involved in a spiritual group called waking down again..its a transmission based lineage that started with Deida's teacher-Adi da..and was form by a 19 year devotee of his who left the community to create a more democratic one. I won't get into debates about the nature of reality or awakenings or anything like that but suffice to say the energy in the rooms has a profound and f-xxxxing obvious effect in my subjectivity and body and it is changing everything in my life in both an exciting and scary way since it seems there is clearly no going back in my perception and worldview orientation, not as a mental matter but as just a fundamental shift. At times all I want is to go full steam ahead with my various forms of seeking but the part in me that realizes how that is a reflexive movement away from the pain of simply being here is to strong and it feels like everything is checkmate....and at the same time I've been having really strong intuitions as to my whats next in life, what I'm here to give, and what I actually desire that will lead to any stable fulfillment and crystallization of self.
Anyway this Alpha refresher has been long overdue, I think I'll do it 3-4 weeks and then stage 6 for a week or two before hitting RNW and RSS/ Ultra Success and then on to WM 2.0.
I'm super excited for WM more for real playfulness and enjoyment over any results..Alpha is really helping let go of results orientation as well but WM is just fun and juicy with it and Alpha's more like 'Lets go or I go...'
SM is a fun set but best be in a really solid place in your life while using it...as in all the basics or settled. I see now I was really fulling the flames of that part of me that wanted to abandon everything for the sake of adventure, personal power, and sexual experiences. It was all well and good but has left me looking at quite a few holes and neglected areas in my life. I'm on Alpha stage 3 refresher and winners mindset now.
And alpha is for the most part devastatingly depressing haha. I don't mind at all though..I feel I'm icy as a mother fxxxker, but so disconnected. It has amped the effects of sex magnet though but in a way where I'm so emotionally removed from the experience its pretty much not worth anything. Although talking to '10's' and moving things foward feels like doing the dishes-I still feel compelled to take care of it lol (I'm trying to relax out of that) and its only those times one/I am really present that one/I can enjoy the soap and water lol. After another 2 rounds of 10 minute meet and greet to sex I'me done with that in my life. From now on I leave room only for woman who will challenge and/or inspire me at core and become part of my ongoing life..or they at least have to be really sexy, nurturing, and cool...woman who will bring out the part of me that loves life for its own sake since. That is what matters to me these days
1. Loving life for its own sake
2. Pure efficiency
Winners mindset is simply incredibly-doing it 4-5 hours a day and half hour of that and I get the best of Alpha with more of a related and motivated swag.
I've been heavily involved in a spiritual group called waking down again..its a transmission based lineage that started with Deida's teacher-Adi da..and was form by a 19 year devotee of his who left the community to create a more democratic one. I won't get into debates about the nature of reality or awakenings or anything like that but suffice to say the energy in the rooms has a profound and f-xxxxing obvious effect in my subjectivity and body and it is changing everything in my life in both an exciting and scary way since it seems there is clearly no going back in my perception and worldview orientation, not as a mental matter but as just a fundamental shift. At times all I want is to go full steam ahead with my various forms of seeking but the part in me that realizes how that is a reflexive movement away from the pain of simply being here is to strong and it feels like everything is checkmate....and at the same time I've been having really strong intuitions as to my whats next in life, what I'm here to give, and what I actually desire that will lead to any stable fulfillment and crystallization of self.
Anyway this Alpha refresher has been long overdue, I think I'll do it 3-4 weeks and then stage 6 for a week or two before hitting RNW and RSS/ Ultra Success and then on to WM 2.0.
I'm super excited for WM more for real playfulness and enjoyment over any results..Alpha is really helping let go of results orientation as well but WM is just fun and juicy with it and Alpha's more like 'Lets go or I go...'
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
