(10-03-2019, 12:32 AM)findingme Wrote:(10-02-2019, 08:33 PM)Shannon Wrote: I still can't understand why the subconscious sees this as death. You shouldn't have to "kill" anything.
If it helps, that "dying" part felt very immature and very whiney, as if believing and feeling out the worst case scenario would prompt a rescue. It was a young part of me trying to save itself.
DMSI has been improving my maturity rapidly. Otherwise, I'd not have seen that. Maybe it's ME3, maybe new things in the skeleton script, but it's been much easier lately to see old patterns and respond as needed. The difference is a lack of fear. This would have locked me up before, with numerous distractions surfacing until the problem just wasn't remembered anymore.
And while I wrote that, I realize this morning that I feel a slight bit saddened, like I'm saying goodbye to some part of me. I didn't have dream memories, but this feeling is real.
Thank you for making this new version. It's working on me and my thinking nicely
I can relate to the feeling too. In the same way that you can start liking a flaw in someone you love. I guess you can develop the same type of fondness over your own flaws.
You know it is bad, but you have lived with that flaw for so long that it feels comfortable. You know how to handle this bad behavior consequences. You may even look back at yourself with this bad behavior and like it because it is you and you love yourself the way you are with the bad and the good traits.
I guess that it is exactly what makes changing hard and why people resist it. You have to let the old you go for change to occur. You have to let some parts of you cease to exist, iow, "die"...
