Thanks a lot for the comments and subscribes, gents. I am very thankful, this is my first journal in quite awhile, eager to get back into it.
Hey Shannon!
What you've said is largely what I expected was the case, given what I've read about similar things here over time and your comments about them. Makes sense. The subconscious having such a tie to weight=security is indeed strange. I mean, I can see it's logic in your past situation where the woman was raped, so her mind decided if she was unattractive, then she wouldn't have that kind of sexual attention required to be at risk of being raped again. However...maybe it's similar here. I have fears about women and past treatment and pain. So, the subconscious may want to pile on weight, to make itself unattractive, so it isn't at "risk" of more pain and negative interactions. I'm not saying it's the "same" as rape at all, that is horrifying. But, just trying to figure out the logic. My case is just some bad binging urges that are very potent, not the horror she went through, different universes. In time, maybe this version can clean this up, we will see.
I added one more part, in an accidental quoted post above, that I have asked to be deleted since it's redundant. I edited the first post as I wanted to originally, with a part about pain in my head. I assume that's similar to the reason for the stomach pain? What about the dreams I posted? They seemed interesting to me, seems like somewhat obvious FRM work on women and my past etc.? Disappointing reaction from that one girl, but that was only day 1 of use I admit.
Hey Shannon!
What you've said is largely what I expected was the case, given what I've read about similar things here over time and your comments about them. Makes sense. The subconscious having such a tie to weight=security is indeed strange. I mean, I can see it's logic in your past situation where the woman was raped, so her mind decided if she was unattractive, then she wouldn't have that kind of sexual attention required to be at risk of being raped again. However...maybe it's similar here. I have fears about women and past treatment and pain. So, the subconscious may want to pile on weight, to make itself unattractive, so it isn't at "risk" of more pain and negative interactions. I'm not saying it's the "same" as rape at all, that is horrifying. But, just trying to figure out the logic. My case is just some bad binging urges that are very potent, not the horror she went through, different universes. In time, maybe this version can clean this up, we will see.
I added one more part, in an accidental quoted post above, that I have asked to be deleted since it's redundant. I edited the first post as I wanted to originally, with a part about pain in my head. I assume that's similar to the reason for the stomach pain? What about the dreams I posted? They seemed interesting to me, seems like somewhat obvious FRM work on women and my past etc.? Disappointing reaction from that one girl, but that was only day 1 of use I admit.
