09-27-2019, 05:44 PM
I have turned some kind of a corner in the last week or so. Before I was afraid to try to get back into the profession that I chose many years ago because I’ve failed at the on the job training twice. I told myself that it would be a bad move because I couldn’t risk my paycheck like that with a family to support, and that I’d never be hired again, and that I was too old, and a few other things. These were EXCUSES.
I had a heck of a time getting into this field because I tended to have nervousness get in the way during interviews (self sabotage) and my brain vapor locked during the extensive on the job training phase when I did succeed (more self sabotage). I am very intelligent and can think and act very well under massive pressure. So the problem here was that my negative self image wouldn’t allow me to achieve that major life goal that I set for myself. That would mean that I was a success not the failure that I was programmed to think of myself in early childhood. I see what Shannon means when he talks about aspects of the subconscious like that self image fighting like hell not to change because they think of any change as death. Well, F.... that. It’s time to kill that sucker off and replace it with something better.
I used Find Your Perfect Job twice and it landed me in the same basic job within two months both times. I think that just allowed me to overpower the self sabotage. Before I thought it was because I had tried to consciously steer the process too much. Not now. I think that WAS my perfect job, but my subconscious wouldn’t let me succeed at it in order to maintain that M........king negative image.
Well, I’ve got some new weapons in the arsenal now, so I’ve got a new plan. As soon as I’ve stabilized us financially, I’m going to use FYPJ again. Yeah, it’s older tech, but it does exactly what I want it to, and it’s worked twice. Then as soon as I’m sure I’m going to be hired, onto the latest powered up USLM. That will do the trick. I think that finally succeeding at this will deal a death blow to the negative image which all the subs have weakened.
I may wait to hear when the next USLM is being worked on, but I still have UMS things to do anyway.
I had a heck of a time getting into this field because I tended to have nervousness get in the way during interviews (self sabotage) and my brain vapor locked during the extensive on the job training phase when I did succeed (more self sabotage). I am very intelligent and can think and act very well under massive pressure. So the problem here was that my negative self image wouldn’t allow me to achieve that major life goal that I set for myself. That would mean that I was a success not the failure that I was programmed to think of myself in early childhood. I see what Shannon means when he talks about aspects of the subconscious like that self image fighting like hell not to change because they think of any change as death. Well, F.... that. It’s time to kill that sucker off and replace it with something better.
I used Find Your Perfect Job twice and it landed me in the same basic job within two months both times. I think that just allowed me to overpower the self sabotage. Before I thought it was because I had tried to consciously steer the process too much. Not now. I think that WAS my perfect job, but my subconscious wouldn’t let me succeed at it in order to maintain that M........king negative image.
Well, I’ve got some new weapons in the arsenal now, so I’ve got a new plan. As soon as I’ve stabilized us financially, I’m going to use FYPJ again. Yeah, it’s older tech, but it does exactly what I want it to, and it’s worked twice. Then as soon as I’m sure I’m going to be hired, onto the latest powered up USLM. That will do the trick. I think that finally succeeding at this will deal a death blow to the negative image which all the subs have weakened.
I may wait to hear when the next USLM is being worked on, but I still have UMS things to do anyway.
