09-23-2019, 12:40 AM
Day 20
Holy moley! I. Said. "No"! I'd always struggled with telling people no, especially my family. I would be riddled with guilt, and just afraid of disappointing people and coming off as selfish. Infact, if a "no" was absolutely inevitable, I'd find myself rehearsing how to say it (over and over) and anxiety would start to build as well. This meant that I harboured a lot of resentment toward myself for being weak and just not standing up for myself.
Today however, my mother asked me for a favour that would have been a real inconvenience to me, and I answered "no" instantly. She tried to goad me into it by saying that it would only be for a day - still I stood my ground. It felt good saying no. Admittedly I felt a pang of guilt minutes later, I almost back paddled - but I didn't! This is major progress for me. xxxxxxx
Holy moley! I. Said. "No"! I'd always struggled with telling people no, especially my family. I would be riddled with guilt, and just afraid of disappointing people and coming off as selfish. Infact, if a "no" was absolutely inevitable, I'd find myself rehearsing how to say it (over and over) and anxiety would start to build as well. This meant that I harboured a lot of resentment toward myself for being weak and just not standing up for myself.
Today however, my mother asked me for a favour that would have been a real inconvenience to me, and I answered "no" instantly. She tried to goad me into it by saying that it would only be for a day - still I stood my ground. It felt good saying no. Admittedly I felt a pang of guilt minutes later, I almost back paddled - but I didn't! This is major progress for me. xxxxxxx
