06-17-2012, 05:38 PM
So a little update. I feel like this sub has been doing me some good. The other day I was hanging out with my friend at his house and he was training in some MMA with another friend of mine. My original intention was just to come by and watch them train, just talk a bit and chill. They were practicing some basic moves with light striking and it just reminded me of how much I used to love MMA. So I decided to train for a bit with them and I was alright, but they were a lot better. I just remember when I used to train MMA I was very hard on myself if I did bad or if the other guy was better than me, but this time I just enjoyed it and took the losses as a good way to improve.
It just made me realize that I'm too hard on myself and I'm not realistic a lot of the time. That might come from a perfectionist mentality, but I realized a lot of the time there is a steady stream of negative thoughts I might not even be aware of after. Well this time I caught it and I was able to redirect those thoughts into something more positive. Instead of dwelling on the bad I emphasized more of the good. A small change like this is huge because it may seem like a conscious realization, but believe me I've had it before. The difference this time is I felt like it kicked in more like a habit, without me having to try hard. So I know my subconscious mind is helping me deflect a lot of negativity now.
Slowly but surely I can feel that I'm internalizing better habits for dealing with my negative thoughts. I think sometime in the future I'm going to start training in MMA again because I definitely enjoy it. What held me back in the past was that fear of failure and the never ending stream of negative thoughts that killed my motivation. It's also a little bit of ego, if someone beats me up in the gym it makes me less confident in my own skills, and instead of facing that fear and building up my confidence again I'd rather take the easy way out and avoid it to protect my ego.
That's it for now, but I'll be sure to keep track of any of my small achievements and update the journal. I gotta keep the snowball effect going and acknowledge the good things and give myself a pat on the back once in a while.
It just made me realize that I'm too hard on myself and I'm not realistic a lot of the time. That might come from a perfectionist mentality, but I realized a lot of the time there is a steady stream of negative thoughts I might not even be aware of after. Well this time I caught it and I was able to redirect those thoughts into something more positive. Instead of dwelling on the bad I emphasized more of the good. A small change like this is huge because it may seem like a conscious realization, but believe me I've had it before. The difference this time is I felt like it kicked in more like a habit, without me having to try hard. So I know my subconscious mind is helping me deflect a lot of negativity now.
Slowly but surely I can feel that I'm internalizing better habits for dealing with my negative thoughts. I think sometime in the future I'm going to start training in MMA again because I definitely enjoy it. What held me back in the past was that fear of failure and the never ending stream of negative thoughts that killed my motivation. It's also a little bit of ego, if someone beats me up in the gym it makes me less confident in my own skills, and instead of facing that fear and building up my confidence again I'd rather take the easy way out and avoid it to protect my ego.
That's it for now, but I'll be sure to keep track of any of my small achievements and update the journal. I gotta keep the snowball effect going and acknowledge the good things and give myself a pat on the back once in a while.
