08-29-2019, 02:47 AM
(08-29-2019, 02:43 AM)mat422 Wrote: Nevermind, sticking with 6 loops. I've learned I'm dragged around by my subconscious far too much and what I really need to do is practice conscious attention and focus. It seems like I've been waiting for everything to be squared away internally and then from there execute. But what I really need to do is have a single point of focus and a commitment to staying on that path. Not just the actions but the mindset behind it. If I only visualize for a few days and get lazy about it I'm not taking it serious enough.
I've been thinking. What if my obsessive need to heal and continually go inward is really just another way to distract me? To go further, what if I'm already healed enough and what's really stopping me is just fear. Fear that manipulates me and convinces me I still have emotional problems that don't exist anymore? Maybe even twisting the idea of what healing is to keep me preoccupied. Ideally healing should be about letting go and transcending problems, not swimming around in them and causing misery for myself. If I keep playing the same story over and over that's what I'll get. I have to build an image in my mind of what I want or a goal, otherwise left on its own my subconscious hangs around in a constant state of procrastination as far as growth is concerned.
I have share your thoughts on healing being something that holds you back from growing, but I always arrive at the conclusion that the need for healing is a signal to myself that I need to stop and give the time that I need, and so far I have seen good progress with that approach. However, sometimes you need to go to some new ground, meet new people, expand, share - to help your healing. New people and new experiences are good for you, but also taking time to your healing at your own pace is also good. There is always a balance.
