Ok. An unusual day for me, especially since I've been on LTU.
I'm listening to LTU now, and I feel sad some. This is opposite what I felt this morning, as I felt angry. I wasn't sure why until I overreacted to an unfair situation.
I worked today with a 20 year old temporary worker whose dad is one of the site's best. The son knows he can do nada, and noone says anything. It pissed me off today, and the stupidity of the reaction stirred me more. It just wasn't fair.
After lunch, something softened in me, and though I didn't look at the guy much anymore, I knew he wasn't the root which was bothering me.
Which is what is on my mind. I'm feeling grief for losing something.......maybe not so hidden....just I've never felt it before. It's like I'm saying "I DON'T WANT TO BE CHEATED AGAIN!"
I wanted "justice" served on this guy, but as I imagined me defending myself to our head boss.....I knew this was about my stuff, not him. I'm still uncomfortable, almost in tears, for I lost something a long time ago, I stuffed it away, I talked about it and around it, and thought life would exist just like that. I've not owned this so far.
Part of me is persistent on keeping it hidden, but a conscious part of me needs to air it out.
F***! Keeping it hidden has not/will not/is NOT working. It makes no sense now trying to hide it from myself. I just am having emotions move into my "now" now, and it's .......new to me.
Weird. This might be the best thing I've had happen on a subliminal.... I'm getting in touch with my self and my feelings. Not my normal, despite my lies to myself. Not normal at all. Which is fantastic! I am feeling today!
Anger, sadness, then excitement. What next? Who cares. This is life TODAY!
I'm listening to LTU now, and I feel sad some. This is opposite what I felt this morning, as I felt angry. I wasn't sure why until I overreacted to an unfair situation.
I worked today with a 20 year old temporary worker whose dad is one of the site's best. The son knows he can do nada, and noone says anything. It pissed me off today, and the stupidity of the reaction stirred me more. It just wasn't fair.
After lunch, something softened in me, and though I didn't look at the guy much anymore, I knew he wasn't the root which was bothering me.
Which is what is on my mind. I'm feeling grief for losing something.......maybe not so hidden....just I've never felt it before. It's like I'm saying "I DON'T WANT TO BE CHEATED AGAIN!"
I wanted "justice" served on this guy, but as I imagined me defending myself to our head boss.....I knew this was about my stuff, not him. I'm still uncomfortable, almost in tears, for I lost something a long time ago, I stuffed it away, I talked about it and around it, and thought life would exist just like that. I've not owned this so far.
Part of me is persistent on keeping it hidden, but a conscious part of me needs to air it out.
F***! Keeping it hidden has not/will not/is NOT working. It makes no sense now trying to hide it from myself. I just am having emotions move into my "now" now, and it's .......new to me.
Weird. This might be the best thing I've had happen on a subliminal.... I'm getting in touch with my self and my feelings. Not my normal, despite my lies to myself. Not normal at all. Which is fantastic! I am feeling today!
Anger, sadness, then excitement. What next? Who cares. This is life TODAY!
I want to be FREE!
