08-13-2019, 08:34 AM
Bumped up the volume last night because I had the urge to do so. I woke up this morning and immediately felt more stable. The only way I can put it. Upping the volume definitely seemed to push me more into executing. I think I might have had the volume too low and I was able to resist it too much.
Anyway today I've been feeling stronger with what I have to work through. My last post I felt really broken up and damaged. I kept diving back into that pain. But I realized today it's a decision you have to make to start living a certain way. The past is the past, it's the decisions I make now that effect me. And I need to choose to heal and move on from these pains, not keep holding onto them.
I definitely needed a stronger push and I think raising the volume gave that to me. This inward push to keep moving forward despite the fear is what I need right now. Otherwise the fear wins out and I collapse into a comfort zone that makes me miserable. I see now that I also was stuck in the healing stage as an excuse to not move forward.
Anyway today I've been feeling stronger with what I have to work through. My last post I felt really broken up and damaged. I kept diving back into that pain. But I realized today it's a decision you have to make to start living a certain way. The past is the past, it's the decisions I make now that effect me. And I need to choose to heal and move on from these pains, not keep holding onto them.
I definitely needed a stronger push and I think raising the volume gave that to me. This inward push to keep moving forward despite the fear is what I need right now. Otherwise the fear wins out and I collapse into a comfort zone that makes me miserable. I see now that I also was stuck in the healing stage as an excuse to not move forward.
INFP
