08-07-2019, 03:48 AM
Thanks man. I've been looking into other jobs. Haven't applied yet though. The plan is most definitely to leave here. What they demand of me and then don't compensate me for is ridiculous. A lot of this is down to my internalized beliefs about myself. I've never been a confident person and I've never felt I was of value to anyone. Those really hold me back from getting a job that treats me well. I've constantly been in positions where people take advantage of me. I guess I still don't have a high self esteem.
I can't just up and quit though, I've gotta have something else lined up first. I've got car payments and student loans that eat into my expenses. And even though I've saved up some money working this job, it wouldn't last me long. I just dread the interview process and all the hoops people make you jump through sometimes. Especially in the IT field, lots of jerks who want a lot for little and their job requirements are retarded. So you never know what they actually need.
I don't know how much UMS would help me. I just feel like it's not really money I'm after. Well it kinda is, but it's more like freedom to allow myself to receive more than the equivalent of leftover crumbs on a plate. I just feel like my internal system is all messed up and I keep attracting and holding onto these events in my life because internally it's what I believe. I know it's not this hard for others, it's just been a constant puzzle why it is for me.
I can't just up and quit though, I've gotta have something else lined up first. I've got car payments and student loans that eat into my expenses. And even though I've saved up some money working this job, it wouldn't last me long. I just dread the interview process and all the hoops people make you jump through sometimes. Especially in the IT field, lots of jerks who want a lot for little and their job requirements are retarded. So you never know what they actually need.
I don't know how much UMS would help me. I just feel like it's not really money I'm after. Well it kinda is, but it's more like freedom to allow myself to receive more than the equivalent of leftover crumbs on a plate. I just feel like my internal system is all messed up and I keep attracting and holding onto these events in my life because internally it's what I believe. I know it's not this hard for others, it's just been a constant puzzle why it is for me.
INFP
