08-07-2019, 02:54 AM
I feel terrible. The only way I can put it. I'm getting those feelings again that I haven't grown as much as I've thought. I'm getting very dissapointed in how much time I'm losing working at a job that doesn't even pay me enough to afford rent somewhere. But I'm more dissapointed that I keep staying here because I'm too afraid of going somewhere else. Whatever confidence I had in my skills is gone. I need more money but I also don't want to take on additional bullshit like this job has taught me. When work starts leaking into every day life. I don't care about this company at all, but there's an overall vibe that it's the most important thing in your life when you're working here. I hate it.
Just needed to vent a little. That's where my head is at right now. I've always struggled with the idea that I'm a capable person. I always feel like I'm behind. But lately the fear isn't driving me to improve. Instead there's complete apathy. If something doesn't align with me I feel completely apathetic to it. There's no drive or internal motivation to solve issues or learn new things at my job because to put it bluntly I don't care. I guess you could say I'm dealing with some depression right now and I'm just going through the motions of this job
Just needed to vent a little. That's where my head is at right now. I've always struggled with the idea that I'm a capable person. I always feel like I'm behind. But lately the fear isn't driving me to improve. Instead there's complete apathy. If something doesn't align with me I feel completely apathetic to it. There's no drive or internal motivation to solve issues or learn new things at my job because to put it bluntly I don't care. I guess you could say I'm dealing with some depression right now and I'm just going through the motions of this job
INFP
