UMS

[Darwinn]

Had a bizarre vision before going to bed last night of the universe as a feminine entity which willingly would provide and the sub as a demanding, rough and cojoling force which was unnecessarily pushy making it reluctant and unable to flow as it otherwise would like to.

Could be the way in which i'm trying to execute the sub rather than the sub itself.

Woke up with a freedom and lightness - not floating on air lightness - but the ease which comes when you realise nothing is all that serious, especially my identity as a failure, what others think of me and my station in life.

Could that possibly be what you are afraid your doing rather than what you or the sub are actually doing?  In other words do you fear being too demanding or pushy with the universe, and that stops you from asking it for what you want?  Seems to me that could be FRM in action there.  Especially since you woke up with a sense of relief.

Def possible. I don't fear being pushy though, I am being pushy and low key desperate - watching with wide eyes for any sign that things are happening. The lesson for me is to relax, focus on activity geared toward the goals and let manifestation happen as it needs to rather than try to limit and control it so it comes about through the narrow door of my current perception and imagination .