Findingme's LTU5 Journal

[findingme]

I slept with LTU looping. I think I only got about 6 hours or so since when I woke up early in the night, my phone was facing up, and the speaker's on the back. I woke up feeling good and hopeful, not really fearing today. As the morning's gone on, I realized something. I'm aware of how I keep looking, purely out of habit, for familiar norms. But ugly, shameful norms like being disappointed, angry, and emotional since I've put myself in the victim role again. Me being stressed while feeling like I'm failing is a norm. This thinking feeds off itself, but even now, 2 hours since waking, I'm still hanging on to a felt reality that I am good, that life is good, that love exists, and that I don't need to fear the future since I will go through any challenges bravely and completely.

I am also feeling good since I'm expecting a bitcoin payout within the next day or so. The circumstances surrounding it have me feeling good, as the support I've received during this adventure is what has allowed me to be successful here. I didn't do this alone. I asked for help, and my wish was granted. This is new, and it is wonderful.