07-06-2019, 08:11 AM
I'm still having a lot of fear about the future. I'm still visualizing my goals along with security, but I guess I have doubts that it can happen. I won't let those doubts stop me, but they are a bit of a trap at times when I come into contact with people that are limited in their own ways. It's not always easy ignoring the well meaning advice of other people. Here I am striving for a goal that most people around me don't think is really all that feasible. All I really have to go on is belief in myself and the dedication to move forward, but besides that it's hard to hold onto this at times when I don't see the progress in my own life.
It's always the same crap flooding my head. How are you going to afford rent? Health insurance? What skills do you have to make enough money to stay afloat and not drown in poverty? You shouldn't go down this path, you're going to end up broke. Look for something that gives you stability. Go back to college and get another degree. Blah blah blah. I hate these thoughts because they are all based in fear. If you look at those, where at any point do I consider my own happiness? All I was ever told growing up was to find a good job that takes care of me. Always that security first, happiness second thing. But not security in doing something that makes me happy. Rather security by any means necessary and then squeezing in the real happiness on the side. I can't live like that anymore.
It's always the same crap flooding my head. How are you going to afford rent? Health insurance? What skills do you have to make enough money to stay afloat and not drown in poverty? You shouldn't go down this path, you're going to end up broke. Look for something that gives you stability. Go back to college and get another degree. Blah blah blah. I hate these thoughts because they are all based in fear. If you look at those, where at any point do I consider my own happiness? All I was ever told growing up was to find a good job that takes care of me. Always that security first, happiness second thing. But not security in doing something that makes me happy. Rather security by any means necessary and then squeezing in the real happiness on the side. I can't live like that anymore.
INFP
