06-26-2019, 08:45 PM
Bad news, the refinance plan is dead in the water, and not damn likely to be revived. The original reason I started USLM was to get us out of financial trouble and to a place where we didn’t have to go broke every month. It went really well, things went wrong, and I came up with a solution or had a stroke of luck that made everything turn out ok. It went that way for almost nine months and we were almost there. Then last week we had two bolt from the blue strokes of bad luck that derailed the process beyond salvage. This time no solution presented itself.
We do have a plan B, but that’s something I was trying to avoid. It’s likely to be damaging especially for my wife. Apparently there is no way out of this without serious pain though, and I miraculously got her to agree to do it, so we will have some of the pressure relieved, but we aren’t at the next level like I wanted to be.
Now, I am not saying that USLM or LTU don’t work because they definitely do. The internal changes have been amazing, and the luck magnifier has allowed me to pull off some bloody amazing stuff to keep our heads above water for this long. However I seem to still have a major issue with actually leveling up for lack of a better term. Thus far, I’ve still had a problem breaking back into the career field that I want to be in. This has included a major stroke of bad luck where (I think) my interview results got mixed up with someone else’s. (I know this because a member of my interview board I ran into asked me when I was starting). The refi was another thing like that, it was just two things that shouldn’t have happened and we’re outside of my direct control that tripped us up at the last second.
The thing is I kind of knew it was going to happen. One of the things that LTU seems to be doing for me is giving me the ability to see into my own mind a bit more clearly. And there’s this voice in there that I recognize as a very deep level of my subconscious. This one hasn’t been reached yet. It’s still very negative, and so far when I hear it say something is going to go wrong, or not happen, it’s been right 100% of the time even when other levels are quite positive about things (one of these days I’ll sit down and try to figure out just how many of these levels/voices there are, and no, I don’t actually hear voices so tell the men in white coats to stand down). This guy seems to be the result of some very early, very negative programming, he’s a mean bastard, and he seems to be real resistant to any kind of change. The good news is that he speaks a LOT less than he used to. The only time I hear from it these days is when I am trying to make a major improvement. I don’t know if LTU in its current form is ever going to change that level, but at least it’s given me some clarity about it.
There have been two times when I managed to overcome that part of me. I got the job I wanted twice using Find Your Perfect job. I became overwhelmed during on the job training both times and lost them, but it did work, or at least got me the job that I thought was perfect. Since my current situation calls for me to get a dramatic increase in income, I am strongly considering doing that again. I can only assume that part of perfect would be high paying.
In other news, I had to qualify with firearms yesterday (my current job involves carrying a handgun). For some reason this test used to make me nervous, and my performance wasn’t what it could have been. This time I was relaxed throughout the process and turned in a near perfect score that was much better than any of my co workers.
We do have a plan B, but that’s something I was trying to avoid. It’s likely to be damaging especially for my wife. Apparently there is no way out of this without serious pain though, and I miraculously got her to agree to do it, so we will have some of the pressure relieved, but we aren’t at the next level like I wanted to be.
Now, I am not saying that USLM or LTU don’t work because they definitely do. The internal changes have been amazing, and the luck magnifier has allowed me to pull off some bloody amazing stuff to keep our heads above water for this long. However I seem to still have a major issue with actually leveling up for lack of a better term. Thus far, I’ve still had a problem breaking back into the career field that I want to be in. This has included a major stroke of bad luck where (I think) my interview results got mixed up with someone else’s. (I know this because a member of my interview board I ran into asked me when I was starting). The refi was another thing like that, it was just two things that shouldn’t have happened and we’re outside of my direct control that tripped us up at the last second.
The thing is I kind of knew it was going to happen. One of the things that LTU seems to be doing for me is giving me the ability to see into my own mind a bit more clearly. And there’s this voice in there that I recognize as a very deep level of my subconscious. This one hasn’t been reached yet. It’s still very negative, and so far when I hear it say something is going to go wrong, or not happen, it’s been right 100% of the time even when other levels are quite positive about things (one of these days I’ll sit down and try to figure out just how many of these levels/voices there are, and no, I don’t actually hear voices so tell the men in white coats to stand down). This guy seems to be the result of some very early, very negative programming, he’s a mean bastard, and he seems to be real resistant to any kind of change. The good news is that he speaks a LOT less than he used to. The only time I hear from it these days is when I am trying to make a major improvement. I don’t know if LTU in its current form is ever going to change that level, but at least it’s given me some clarity about it.
There have been two times when I managed to overcome that part of me. I got the job I wanted twice using Find Your Perfect job. I became overwhelmed during on the job training both times and lost them, but it did work, or at least got me the job that I thought was perfect. Since my current situation calls for me to get a dramatic increase in income, I am strongly considering doing that again. I can only assume that part of perfect would be high paying.
In other news, I had to qualify with firearms yesterday (my current job involves carrying a handgun). For some reason this test used to make me nervous, and my performance wasn’t what it could have been. This time I was relaxed throughout the process and turned in a near perfect score that was much better than any of my co workers.
