Stage 1, Day 23.
Today, I went to the gym in the morning instead of end of afternoon. That means that I have seen different people than usual.
I did flirt with a blonde latina woman and she did react well. It made me notice 2 things.
1. I knew that she was open for flirting because she is only one of the rare gym girls that I have stumbled on Tinder. Initially, I felt uncomfortable that one of my social circle could find me on that app. I felt ashamed because it could hurt my respectable reputation among that circle. But on second thought, I should assume my desire for promiscuity and be proud of it... There is nothing to be ashamed of that. This is something that I need to work on but realizing why this made me uncomfortable is a first step to change my self-image and beliefs
2. It only occured to me after I left the gym that since she was receptive to my flirting, she would have been an excellent candidate to perhaps "pull the trigger". You see this isn't an automatic reaction in my behavior yet. Hopefully, future SM3 stages that works on "pulling the trigger" will help me changing that.
Today, I went to the gym in the morning instead of end of afternoon. That means that I have seen different people than usual.
I did flirt with a blonde latina woman and she did react well. It made me notice 2 things.
1. I knew that she was open for flirting because she is only one of the rare gym girls that I have stumbled on Tinder. Initially, I felt uncomfortable that one of my social circle could find me on that app. I felt ashamed because it could hurt my respectable reputation among that circle. But on second thought, I should assume my desire for promiscuity and be proud of it... There is nothing to be ashamed of that. This is something that I need to work on but realizing why this made me uncomfortable is a first step to change my self-image and beliefs
2. It only occured to me after I left the gym that since she was receptive to my flirting, she would have been an excellent candidate to perhaps "pull the trigger". You see this isn't an automatic reaction in my behavior yet. Hopefully, future SM3 stages that works on "pulling the trigger" will help me changing that.
