LTU 5 yeah, I did it too.

[Greenduck]

I haven’t posted for a while, so I’ll update.  I seem to be back sliding a bit.  I’m getting flashes of anger again especially when the wife is critical.  They don’t last long, and I’m able to short circuit them, but I’m noticing them more.  There are two possible reasons for this.  First, I’ve been running it through sleep phones while I sleep because it’s now too warm to hide earbuds under a winter cap.  I seem to get better results running 5.5 G programs with earbuds.  It could also be that due to the fact that I’m in the process of getting the second refinance done, I’m under more subconscious stress than I’m aware of.  This one will get us financially stable so life can move forward.   Either way, I still remember that my bad days now are better than my good days before.
The wife alternates between vastly improved in her dealing with me, and vastly well, not improved.  She had a major blow up at me the other day over a mistake that cost us approximately three dollars.  You’d think I’d gambled away the title to the house.  
She’s having trouble at work, and I’m a bit worried she might lose her job.  The good news is this allowed me to convince her to use USLM 4.  I’ll be purchasing that for her the day after tomorrow when we both get paid.  We’ll see if it helps things or if she resists and refuses to use it correctly just to prove me wrong.

Man anger isn't a bad thing. It's your ability to set boundaries. If you are letting people treat you like shit over and over, of course you will feel anger. Why even staying with someone like that, honestly? If would never have done it. Life is to short to live with people ruining your mood.

Anger is a bad thing When someone is TRYING to make you angry because that gives them the control that they are seeking.  
I’ve been getting angry at her for years, and it hasn’t made anything better.  It can have its place when used with control and for a reason. Other than that, it’s just a loss of control.
As to why I stay for now, there are a couple of reasons.  First off, we’re married and have a kid.  That’s hard to get out of intact, I don’t want to put our son through that if I don’t have to, and I REALLY don’t want to leave him alone with her without her having another target for her anger.  Two, I’ve been here this long because I thought the chaos was normal.  She doesn’t respect boundaries because I’ve never set any, now that I am, she doesn’t quite know how to deal with it.  She’s got a LITTLE time to figure it out.  Oh, and she really isn’t a bad person, just kind of a mental mess.  I married her for a reason after all.

Well that anger that is only caused by her provocigg you is one tug. The anger you feel because of her manipulative behavior is the healthy one I am talking about above. And that type of anger is the one she is afraid of because she can’t control it. The inner “I have been crossed”-anger.

Ok that is a celibate situation I agree with you. But how old is your boy? If you separate isnt it better for him to have 2 weeks without her every month and with the possibility for him to just stay with you? That would also give you the ability to live your life freely. We don’t have to stick to our choices even if they are big ones if we realize it’s the wrong one. Don’t know if you know about sunk cost theory but give it a look. Also investigate if your choice is based on guilt, as in that case it’s a faulty basis for making it.