05-16-2019, 01:12 PM
Just had a sudden awareness.
I sent my ex-wife child support and texted her so. She replied 10 minutes later.
And 10 minutes after that, I texted her "how are you?" .....but I did this check on myself, as if I stood between two "me's", one my long-held norm of controlled responses, and a new me filled with excitement and enthusiasm. I didn't completely abandon the old self, but I did choose to go with the new me.
Change is happening. And now, as I revisit this memory, I see some honesty in the old me. He's sad, quiet, and lonely, and I'm here with him. The fronting of anger has hidden his truth of being really scared. I see and feel this now. He's not a "bad guy", just me who's been scared and unaided a long time.
It was vivid.
I sent my ex-wife child support and texted her so. She replied 10 minutes later.
And 10 minutes after that, I texted her "how are you?" .....but I did this check on myself, as if I stood between two "me's", one my long-held norm of controlled responses, and a new me filled with excitement and enthusiasm. I didn't completely abandon the old self, but I did choose to go with the new me.
Change is happening. And now, as I revisit this memory, I see some honesty in the old me. He's sad, quiet, and lonely, and I'm here with him. The fronting of anger has hidden his truth of being really scared. I see and feel this now. He's not a "bad guy", just me who's been scared and unaided a long time.
It was vivid.
I want to be FREE!
