Findingme's LTU5 Journal

[findingme]

Thanks Infinite. As I sit here, I'm wondering how much of my emotional memories are from the present, and how much are pains being dug up from E3 and the guilt and shame subliminal. In other words, I've tried to control present circumstances before, but what I was actually trying to do was minimize remembrances of past emotional traumas, both big and small.

I've never controlled any of the memories at all. I've done countless repetitions of avoiding or distracting myself, but controlling, no. Left me very anxious and over-reactive around people.

Thank god I can run LTU (or E2, E3) to do the heavy battles. Avoiding this sh*t, in my experience, is a never-ending job. 2nd day of break tonight. Will run LTU tomorrow. May even run it in my shirt pocket while at work. Maybe.