05-08-2019, 01:22 PM
I'm on my 2nd day of break, and I read Shannon's response to Mat on his LTU use and success with it. I identified with that writing, moreso as I write now.
Parts of me have relaxed with LTU, and parts have been hanging on quietly and very stubbornly. I equated this with "failure", and instead of posting, I held back, fearing abandonment by others. A major thing I've held to is having people's acceptance of me. Today some feelings of fear kind of drifted away as I thought of them, as I've usually relied on them. Like they just got out of reach for me, so I had to change my direction. However, I wasn't fearful at all. And during this, I felt something brewing in my gut area, like a sign that I was being freed from something.
Parts of me have relaxed with LTU, and parts have been hanging on quietly and very stubbornly. I equated this with "failure", and instead of posting, I held back, fearing abandonment by others. A major thing I've held to is having people's acceptance of me. Today some feelings of fear kind of drifted away as I thought of them, as I've usually relied on them. Like they just got out of reach for me, so I had to change my direction. However, I wasn't fearful at all. And during this, I felt something brewing in my gut area, like a sign that I was being freed from something.
I want to be FREE!
